After successfully turning pro as Masters in 2005 the members of Team Grunt have decided to go mano y mano and see who can cobble together the most winning$ this season. Any ca$h won in sanctioned or unsanctioned tournament singles competition counts. Doubles, recreational round gambling etc. doesn't count. Each of us must play a minimum of 15 tournaments in 2006. This prevents one of us ca$hing early after two events and winning $60 for a per event average of $30. /msgboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif In 2005 our rough calculations have Dr. Evil (http://www.gameimp.com/coppermine/albums/userpics/10001/thumb_dr.evil.jpg) averaging $10 per event and Your Disc Golf Hero (http://www.erikestrada.com/shirtless-beefcake.jpg) trailing with $4 per event. Winner gets dinner at one of America's finest dining establishments. (http://rajadora.fc2web.com/rakuten/2004_10/20041024_hooters_girl01.gif) Updates will be provided here after each tourney either of us play in. Your combatants are:

<font color="green"> Dr. Evil </font>
Age: 41
Height: 6 feet 1 inch
Weight: 245...ish
Occupation: Computer Geek
Other Hobbies: Motorcycling, porn and competitive eating.
Disc Golf Involvement: MD State Coordinator/Multi-Tourney TD/Philanthropist
Home Course: Rockburn
Throws: RHBH with a loud grunt.
In The Bag. (http://www.pdga.com/msgboard/showprofile.php?Cat=&User=1898&Number=489252&Board=TournamentInfo&what=showflat&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=32&vc=1)
Disc Golf Mentor: Bill (Burger) King. Taught me to never take this game too seriously. Good advice for anyone. Have some fun! He can still beat me even though in his words...


You can drive farther, approach better, putt better, and throw shots I never even learned



...goes to show you golf is a mental game.
Favorite Disc Golfer: Wayne Zink. Such a good golfer and a great person also!

<font color="red"> HawkGammon </font>
Age: 40
Height: 5 feet 9 inches
Weight: 180 pounds of hardened steel.
Occupation: Solid Waste Bureaucrat/Organized Crime Liason
Other Hobbies: Backgammon, exercise and porn.
Disc Golf Involvement: International advice columnist, and Asst. Course Pro.
Home Course: Patapsco
Throws: RHBH with a low grunt.
In The Bag. (http://www.pdga.com/msgboard/showprofile.php?Cat=&User=2960&Number=489441&Board=Club953&what=showflat&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1)
Disc Golf Mentor: Jim (No Spin) Myers. Has helped me develop my game from my first round with an array of useful tips and pointers such as...


Just throw 475' and make the 80' putt for the deuce.




Favorite Disc Golfer: Chris Hysell. Fellow sex symbol and more than the cliche of a middle aged guy driving a 'vette.

Hah! HAwk may have gotten the better of me in the second half of 2005, but my game is coming back around and i expect to at least DOUBLE his earnings. ;)

the better of me



Don't you mean pounded you like a third string porno starlet?

Also I noticed you left the Mojo out of your bag. Has the shame finally gotten to you?

the mojo is a specialty weapon i use only on courses with fast greens. i was running out of space on the bio. the only person shamed by my mojo is my opponents when i plant a 60 footer dead on chains!

when i plant a 60 footer dead on chains!




Have you even ever made a 60' putt when it mattered?

under what conditions do they not matter?

(sorry to butt in)

No problem we welcome the input! They matter in tourney$. The rest of the time you're just putzing around.

i was running out of space on the bio.



Drop the weights, and you'll have the space. I still think it's shame.

Weight matters.

you will find that out when i have you pinned to the ground and am pummeling the life out of you! :D

when i have you pinned to the ground



I find your homoerotic ramblings somewhat disturbing. This isn't the Shark Tour you know.

after i take my cash and leave you for dead at the calvert ice bowl/monthly on sunday, it will thereafter be known as "The Stomp in the Swamp" :D

The only thing I see you stomping is donut remains on the floor of your truck.

Hey you've finally creeped ahead in the voting slightly. Did you register the rest of you family as PDGA members so they can vote?

For the fashion critics out there I'll be sporting the new Patapsco Putters sweatshirt Sunday. Remember the motto,

"Play well, look even better."

"Play well, look even better."



hawk,
i think it goes more like
"if you look good, you will play good"
you should be well over 1000 by the end of this year........

Thanks fan. These are the votes that truly matter.

This has been the most interesting Topic on the board!

The Silly Banter back and forth is very exciting. Still not sure who to vote for though.

Any Convincing words from the candidates?

The girlie invited me to come play in the Calvert monthly this weekend. I sort of considered it for a minute. I'm afraid that if I show up the man crush you guys have on me may affect your play. Maybe i'll just stay at home eagerly awaiting the online scoring.

Hawk, how can I help your game?

Any Convincing words from the candidates?




Jeff,

I'm currently & inexplicably four votes down. Let's talk about what it (http://tuckerlangway.starsearchcasting.com/dynamic_pics/dp_70.jpg) might take to get your vote in the winning column. I can have your thank you gift (http://www.aarrgghh.com/media/cash.jpg) delivered anywhere in the continental U.S. within 24 hours.

Hawk, how can I help your game?



Lord Hysell,

Two words: designated putter. Though while lifting incomprehensible amounts of weight at the gym last evening I had a vision of being on fire this Sunday at the Swamp, so I might not need that yet. I have been working on the driving pointers with limited success. Surely (http://www.kino.de/pix/MBBILDER/MITWIRK/Z0217070.JPG) you don't won't to miss another free demonstration of my forehand prowess?

i expect to at least DOUBLE his earnings.



The only thing I see you doubling is my waistline.

Got DAM, this is entertaining.

I have no idea who to root for. Will the results of tourneys you both attend be available on this thread, or should I check the USA Today sports page?

we will try to post the usa today results here after each event.

to anyone on the fence, if you want to back a loser, by all means pick Hawk. he may be able to lift weights, but as usual with the weightlifter type, his mental game is NOT his strong point... /msgboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

his mental game is NOT his strong point.



Excuse me but aren't you picking your nose in your avatar?

What's the over under on you actually making tee time? You staggered in well past kick-off last month.

Where's all the Hawk supporters???? No offense Dr. Evil but if this competition was of cruel wit :)instead of a game of physical skill you would be on the losing side. But since any competition is half mental I'll have to go with my gut. I voted for the hawkster because by the end of the round Dr. Evil will be either crying from numerous insightful insults or most likely laughing from the same put downs. /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif :D

I voted for Hawk!!

He just knows too much for him not be a favorite in anything he competes in.

Still not sure who to vote for though.





you really have to think this one through? its not clear who to vote for?
when i first saw this thread, i laughed.... how could one have to think on who to vote for?
it just comes naturally....

why don't you guys just meet at a course -- or a whole set of courses for a Hawk vs. Evil Series and decide it that way?

ratings wise, it doesn't look close :eek:

a game of physical skill



Voters should be aware that Dr. Evil is one of those cart guys. How can you respect someone who is toting their discs around in a modified wheelchair?

He just knows too much for him not be a favorite in anything he competes in.



Don't forget a proven track record (http://www.pdga.com/msgboard/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=Players&Number=141797&page=1&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=186&fpart=1) of success.

it just comes naturally....



It's all about technique baby.

why don't you guys just meet at a course -- or a whole set of courses for a Hawk vs. Evil Series and decide it that way?




Ummm...Rob,

Do you not grasp the concept of what is going on here? Perhaps a little less,


material handling



on your part might be in order.

I used reverse psychology and voted for Evil. It is the only way I could think to make Hawk try this year. He's too distracted when he is on the course. Always looking around to see if his hero saw him miss that putt.

FOCUS MAN, FOCUS.

That's just...Evil.

i voted for dr. evil though if there were an option for tie (read $0 average), i'd probably have gone in that direction.

does this include calvert monthlies and ice bowls? those might be the only shots that you guys have at cashing (and i'd still go with the doc).

Still not sure who to vote for though.





you really have to think this one through? its not clear who to vote for?
when i first saw this thread, i laughed.... how could one have to think on who to vote for?
it just comes naturally....



I thought we were supposed to vote for who we thought was the better player - not knowing anything about these two players, I would like more information from them.

does this include calvert monthlies and ice bowls? those might be the only shots that you guys have at cashing




Any ca$h won in sanctioned or unsanctioned tournament singles competition counts.



857,

Apparently there's a reading comprehension problem here. Having a You'll Be Shut Out third option isn't a bad idea for the poll, but keep in mind that we both ca$hed in PDGA sanctioned and unsanctioned tourneys last year, so we should scrape something together somewhere. The first effort will be at the Swamp on Sunday. There is no glory in one of us finishing ahead of the either if we both fail to ca$h. Only $ won matters.

904,

funny... the one PDGA tourney you cashed at last year (that i td'd) probably isn't going to happen this year.

cheers,

922

857,

There's nothing funny about that at all.

why don't you guys just meet at a course -- or a whole set of courses for a Hawk vs. Evil Series and decide it that way?




Ummm...Rob,

Do you not grasp the concept of what is going on here?



Hawk, while i was almost swayed by your pointing out that your opponent uses a cart :eek:, i haven't really been following this thread too much, so feel free to fill me in by putting it in a nutshell.

i also like the idea of you competing with Evil via our ratings system, but probably you won't /msgboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif :p

putting it in a nutshell.




Rob,

Evil and I go to tournaments. Hopefully we ca$h. Total ca$h won at the end of the year is divided by tourneys played, higher average win$.


i also like the idea of you competing with Evil via our ratings system, but probably you won't



Ratings are for Am's. Also I've been there (http://www.pdga.com/msgboard/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=Players&Number=141797&page=1&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=31&fpart=1) and won that...decisively.

Did I also mention that Rich regularly putts with a Mojo? (http://www.atraffic.com/images/Mojo320_.gif)

wow, he uses a cart for his bag and putts with a Mojo. :eek:
you make a pretty convincing case against him Hawk, i'll give u that.
i already voted for dr. e but i am no longer rooting for him :D

you guys should try to get a sanctioned D-Tier at some point to close it out, I might even put something to the purse

i already voted for dr. e but i am no longer rooting for him




It's back to the Dunipace thread for you Rob.

currently i putt with an aviar rob. the mojo was an experiment gone wrong. it's kind of like the sidewinder. i have thrown some of my best shots ever with it...but also many of my worst.

also keep in mind, hawk doesn't throw a roc.

and yes, hawk is witty, but he has a dire sense of humour and defeatism when things go wrong during a round. often if i am in his group or between rounds i have to try to keep him from giving up. heck, he'll probably quit halfway through this bet after i pile up a few cashings on him! :eek:

i would have to say one of my strong points is that i rarely get flustered when things go wrong on a hole. of course i had bad rounds and events, especially at the end of last year, but i am confident it was growing pains with my new power grip wihich added D ( i can now drive over 500 feet on the message board! :D:D:D) and the tail end of the mad putter experiment. 2006 i am ready to springboard to a new level.

currently i putt with an aviar rob.



Or an Omega SuperSoft, or a JK Aviar, or a Mojo, or a...

I use a DX Aviar putter.


also keep in mind, hawk doesn't throw a roc.




Evil throws a Cobra (oh yeah he lost that).

He raises this point as I reintroduced the Shark to my bag in the second half of last season when the beatings began, and now he's even more afraid that I'm comboing that with my Spider this season. The disc Evil himself says I am most deadly with.


he has a dire sense of humour and defeatism when things go wrong during a round.



This from a man who misses two putts and starts switching putters and moaning about how he can't make a 10'er.

Rich fails to see this as the clever psychological ploy that lures my opponents into a false sense of security. I am known for my lethal ability to reel people in. I am the fisherman.


after i pile up a few cashings on him!




This assumes he can jump to an early lead, and if his momentum from the end of last season continues he'll be lucky to not be dead last at each event.


but i am confident it was growing pains with my new power grip wihich added D



At our last joint practice round my Beast was still finishing ahead of his Starfire. ;) For us joint means together. I realize that has a different implication for the majority of the sport.


2006 i am ready to springboard to a new level.



His best vertical leap is probably in the 6" range. Was his post the worse high school student government speech ever or what?

More Reasons Not To Vote For Dr. Evil

1. His PDGA membership is not current! :o:eek:

2. For the first half of last season his average margin of missing ca$h was two strokes per round. In the second half of last season his average margin of missing ca$h was five strokes per round. Is this a $tock you want to invest in?*

*I'm only able to provide this analysis from PDGA tourneys we atteneded together on tour. I can't include data from events he attended solo because <font color="green">his PDGA membership isn't current! </font>

I have now voted! I have weighed both candidates thoroughly and have made my decision.

Jeff,

Welcome to the winning team.

i already voted for dr. e but i am no longer rooting for him




It's back to the Dunipace thread for you Rob.



okay, now i am rooting for dr. e :D

Hawk, i'll go where i please and if i want your opinion i'll ask for it. :p

Rob,

I'd also be bitter if I'd won less prize money than me last year.

also keep in mind, hawk doesn't throw a roc.




Neither does Nate Doss, or Chris Hysell

when you are that good, you dont need one

Which one of the three of us were you referencing?

Rob,

I'd also be bitter if I'd won less prize money than me last year.



good one Hawk. looks like we became PDGA members on almost the same day...
also, looks like my rating's a little higher than yours :eek: :D:p

I made my vote in one hot minute. Suffering from a severe case of distaste for Dr. Evil, after his wack a-s-s dissed SKI by promising me a MD flag stamped disc and then NOT making good on the deal. I realize I (still) owe you $20.00 for the Rockburn Roc's, BUT, it's not like I'm apposed to paying for said plastic...

Anywho, good luck this year senior Hawk, not like you need it or anything.

By the way, i'm a little disappointed that I'm not your favorite disc golfer.

Did i mention I shot two Aces in two days ?!?!

1-6-06 Druid hole 5C metal with a sidewinder, by far my sexiest ace thus far.
1-7-06 "practice" ace Rockburn 17A with a CFR Starfire, it landed a ft. from the basket and ever so gently skipped right in. :eek: Thats my second skip ace and a grand total of 5 to date. Did I mention I'm "going PRO" ? After spanking No-Spin and defeating a group of 16 Disc Golfers at the ROCk it was a no brainer.
But I digress.

Good luck ;)

looks like we became PDGA members on almost the same day...




Rob,

The numbers show I beat you again.


also, looks like my rating's a little higher than yours



Ratings are for Am's.

By the way, i'm a little disappointed that I'm not your favorite disc golfer.




Skizy,

You're my favorite Am discer. How's that?

Ratings are for Am's.



that's a reach -- ratings are a mathematical measurement of who YTD has been the better tournament player.

By the way, i'm a little disappointed that I'm not your favorite disc golfer.




Skizy,

You're my favorite Am discer. How's that?



With hopes of becoming your favorite Pro discer :D

ski, md flag discs were for sponsors. that would involve "actually" giving me the money for them! :D

seriously, sorry if i missed you, if i can track one down i'll let you know.

Hereafter reffered to as the "Stomp in the Swamp"

both rounds Hawk and i happened to be in the same group.

first round was from the reds, 1000 rated pros usually shoot between 42-45 i would say. i got off to a duece and then promptly gave hawk back the lead by 3puytting #9 for a bogey to his duece. neither of us putted particularly well, missing several easy putts each, probably a few more for me. but i drove pretty well and played efficiently enough to manage a 5 down 49. hawk came in with a 52...

hawk bought me lunch after we drove to chipolte in one of the new cars partially sponsored by TEAM HONDA. i chose an element in funky green, while Hawk chose a more modest civic 4 door as he drives a long commute. we both had some tasty carnitas.

round 2 hawk managed to slip in as the last man in our group. being the premier attractions, we were promptly placed on the 1st hole so the gallery could watch us. unfortunately the burrito grease was still clinging to our hands resulting in disc slippage and poor drives on the hole. Hawk missed the mando to take a circle 5, while i threw out to the long tee for hole 3( not good), but managed a 3 somehow. it took several holes for the burrito oils to fade, but hawk definitely took the worst of it, also missing the mando on 6. ouch. much of the rest of the round we both played steady, though not able to keep up with a hot boyce who popped off a 52 from the longs for the 3 stroke win. i manged a 54, with hawk dropping a 57 after blowing an easy putt on the last hole to blow a tie for fourth.

final scores:
rich 103 - tied for second - 7.50$ (this was a charity event, so the total pot was only 35$ for seven people. i think about 600$ was made for charity though, so it's all good)

Hawk 109 - 6th (out of seven)

consider yourself lucky hawk that this was a charity event and i can't pile up much of a per event lead yet. when ice bowl season is done, so are you!!!

standing so far after 1 event:

Dr. Evil - 7.50$ average
Hawk - 0$ average

head to head 1-0 dr. evil :D

$7.50. :D

The two mando debacles were absolute killers. Congrats on your substantial first ca$h of the year. I think I spent more on your lunch.

904,

not quite dfl, but close. nice try. you did lose to charlie george though :D

if you get blanked this year, are you going to move back down to AM? :o

yours truly,
922


http://www.sharkysshots.com/albums/userpics/10002/CVJANIBMONTHLY0036.jpg

Just like the redskins, a win is a win. How much isn't as important.

all that matters is i cashed and have cashed at EVERY event so far this year! :D

not quite dfl, but close. nice try. you did lose to charlie george though




857,

This is two months in a row I've lost to Charlie George down there. DFL doesn't matter. Once you're the first not to get paid how far down the list you are is of no real importance. I actually thunked an 11' putt on #18 which would have made it a three way tie for fourth, but again no money so no matter.


if you get blanked this year, are you going to move back down to AM?



That would mean playing with the likes of you, and of course that isn't acceptable.

if you get blanked this year, are you going to move back down to AM?



That would mean playing with the likes of you, and of course that isn't acceptable.



hey now... if my rating goes up half as much as it did last year, i'll have moved beyond the am ranks. look for my true open debut this june in wap wap ;)

Yum Yum, lunch was good with that first <font color="green"> CASH </font>

maybe i'll have a party for all the people who voted for me with all the <font color="green"> CASH </font> I win this year! :D

Excuse me Cookie Monster, but you got lunch before cashing.

Two bad throws put the stake in me. $7.50 doesn't exactly fill me with fear at this point. Plus it's a marathon, not a sprint.

I'll see you in the woods at Druid in two weeks for round two. If you dare.

oh, i dare.

and i was talking about lunch today.

I hope you get the runs while riding the bus home this evening.

Round two this Saturday as I play in the Druid Hill Ice Bowl. Evil may or may not attend. He's a little afraid of suffering total humiliation in the woods on the X-holes!!!

if i attend the druid ice bowl are you going to reciprocate with the rockburn ice bowl? basically druid gives you home field advantage, while rockburn returns the favor.

How does Druid give me home field advantage? I'm not exactly Mr. Druid @ 3:45 here. Besides if you're worried, then you can skip it, and sit on your $7.50 while I potentially win $16 and take the year to date lead. Also isn't Rockburn your home course? I'm missing the linkage there.

ok, so patapsco would be your home course mr. asst pro?

or is that country club pro?

That would be a yes. You're just bitter that my home course actually has tees.

we got tees. sort of. sometimes there is even a line to throw behind. sometimes...

You must be very proud. The actual concrete tees at Druid will probably cause you to melt down mentally. I can understand your relunctance to play.

But the X holes........

They should make him feel more comfortable with seven of the nine tees being more Rockburnish.

Unlike my opponent I received my 2006 membership card last night, and also the personalized PDGA bag tag which is essentially the size of a license plate. Meanwhile rumor has it that Rich voted (http://www.pdga.com/msgboard/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=496473&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=1&fpart=1&vc=1) no. Is this really the kind of player you want to support?

Congrats on getting that sponsorship from Honda. :D

thanks. i'm loving the new element. definitely the disc golf tour mobile. a little harsh in high winds since it's basically a really light bus! but muddy gear is no problem...

ps i renewed today, so i can at least attempt to beat hawk at the pdga events he decides to show at.

Congrats on renewing. I know you were actively considering that whole Southern National Tour thing.


attempt to beat hawk



Beforewarned I've been in tutoring discussions with Mr. Sherwood today. Since Hysell has turned on me I may be on the market for a new favorite pro.


Congrats on getting that sponsorship from Honda.



When you offer the kind of marketing opportunity that Team Grunt represents how can a major sponsor say no? We turned down Coors Beer, and some head shop in the city. We're still considering offers from Golden Palace and some porn site.

I actually had a guy approach me at an Exxon station in Towson last weekend all googoo about the ride.

Generic Guy: Is that the new 2006 Civic?
Hawk: Yes.
GG: Wow. Can I look inside?
H: Yes but don't touch anything.
GG: This is swell!
H: Uh huh.
GG: I'm thinking of getting one.
H: You're nowhere near bad enough to carjack me so you'll have to go to a dealer.
GG: Oh I know. Thanks.
H: You're welcome.

Besides chics dig the Civic i.e. the Silver Bullet. It seems to remind them of a personal relaxation device.

either of you two mullets care to place a wager against the TD?

Since Hysell has turned on me I may be on the market for a new favorite pro.




uh-hummmmm...

Why here's an outstanding candidate now.

bad move

At least you'll still have your corvette...and the reverse-mullet.

Now boys don't fight over me. I'm blushing.

of course i had bad rounds and events



Come see one of these tomorrow at the Druid Hill Ice Bowl as I go old $chool with the putter on the Evil one.

I'm not sure Rich can actually stumble through 27 consecutive holes without an Arby's run for a snack.

In addition to the value represented by this high quality entertainment Paul is supplying food and drink.

Discing, Dining and Defeat. What could be better?

Triple D's are a mouthful.

So are Deez Nutz

Why so biTTer Hyzzle. Have you and MTL been consorting lately?

Why so biTTer Hyzzle.



Obviously he's upset that his betrayal in the voting has motivated me to consider a new guru.

<font color="red"> Your Disc Golf Hero Triumphs In Round Two </font>

<font color="blue"> Dr. Evil Defeated at The Druid Debacle </font>

After the disappointing loss in the first round of this epic journey, I began to rethink my putter. Two years ago I switched from the Pro Rhyno (http://www.innovadiscs.com/discs/prorhyno.html) which I pretty much started out with in 2003 to the DX Aviar. (http://www.innovadiscs.com/discs/aviarpna.html) Why? Uh...because everyone used it. Things hadn't really been going well with the ole' putter lately, and I had started thinking about my old friend the Rhyno. Afterall hadn't I become a Pro Disc Golfer thanks to skillful use of a Pro Rhyno last April on a very windy day? Hmmmm...

Late one night early this week the phone rang, and it was a voice I didn't recognize.
Mystery Caller: Is this international disc golf celebrity Hawk?
Hawk: Yes. By the way do you realize that it's 3 in the morning and you don't sound like some generic hot chick (http://www.nbcmodels.com/beauty/sweetgirl/images/swtimikek01.jpg), so I'm going to hang up.
MC: Wait!
H: Why?
MC: I think I can help you.
H: With what?
MC: Your putting.
H: Who is this?
MC: I'd rather not say...but I have some information for you to look at. Do you have access to the internet right now?
H: You expect me to get up and go to the computer right now?
MC: Yes.
H: Okay I'm intrigued, but if this ends up being scatlovers.com you'll regret this call.
MC: Trust me.
H: Okay what do you want me to look up?
The mystery caller directs me to this (http://www.discgolfreview.com/discs/innova/rhyno.shtml) webpage.
H: There's no naked girls here.
MC: Of course not. Read the third review.
H: Third from the top or the bottom?
MC: The top you [I'm a potty-mouth!].
H: The one by Todd Branch?
MC: Yes.
H: Are you Branch?
MC: No.
H: Tell me your name.
MC: Ummm...Bunch, Tom Bunch.
H: Thanks for calling but I'm going back to bed.
MC: Okay good luck.
H: Yeah you to.

The next morning I decided to order a couple of Champion Rhynos (http://www.innovadiscs.com/discs/championRhyno.html) (I'm just not a DX kind of guy) and have a go with them today with no practice.

This morning I was having my team meal at a local fine dining establishment (http://www.yoadrian.net/restaurants/bob_evans.jpg) when I felt something tugging at my sleeve. I looked down to see a sad looking lad (http://www.musicforsuzy.com/music/little-boy_outlined.jpg) staring at me balefully.

Hawk: Hi there.
Little Boy: Can I ask you something mister?
H: Sure.
LB: Are you the international disc golf celebrity Hawk?
H: Yes I am. What tipped you off?
LB: That stylish Patapsco Putters fleece vest and sweatshirt combo.
H: It is rather sharp isn't it?
LB: Yes. But that's not my question. I want to ask you for a favor.
H: I'm not carrying any cash on me right now.
LB: No that's not it. I got a new dog (http://www.pupsnpeople.com/All%20site%20images/DDS%20Puppy%201.jpg) for Christmas, but it's been sick. The vet thinks it may have cancer, and we might have to put it down. Now I know you've beaten cancer twice...
H: That's three times Jr.
LB:...and you've really been an inspiration for me during this time with my new puppy Snowball.
H: Snowball?
LB: Well he's all white.
H: I see. That's clever Timmy.
LB: Actually my names Billy.
H: Well whatever. My foods getting cold here Timmy what's this all about?
B: Well if you could beat the bald load Dr. Evil today it would really give me hope that Snowball's going to be okay.
H: Tim, I'm going to do that just for you.
B: Golly Mr. Hawk that would be swell.
H: I'm sure it would. Say is that your mom (http://www.bigdandbubba.com/images/sexy%20mom%20Karena.jpg) over there?
B: Yes.
H: Do you know what a MILF is Tim?
B: No.
H: Middle school's going to be rough for you. Give this piece of paper to your mom for me, and I'll take care of business for you today.
B: Thanks Mr. Hawk. You're the greatest.
H: I know.

So off to Druid where I see Rich sporting his garish and racially insensitive Washington Redskins sweatshirt.

Hawk: I'm going to Rhyno all over you today.
Rich: Yeah whatever.
H: I've never thrown either of these discs before this morning.
R: Bad move.
H: Maybe if you tried it, but I'm a skilled athlete.
R: Good luck with that.

So after 27 holes (18 regular from the metals plus the nine X-holes ) the final scores were:

Hawk-82 :D
Rich-83 :(

Total ca$h won and donated back to the Maryland Food Bank:
Hawk-$15
Rich-$5

I ended up third out of nine Masters, and Rich tied for fourth with two other losers. Overall standings up to this point.

Hawk: Events-Two, Total Winnings-$15, Average Winnings-$7.50.
Rich: Events-Two, Total Winnings-$12.50, Average Winnings-$6.25.

Say hello to your new bet leader: <font color="red">Your Disc Golf Hero. </font>

There were 66 players at today's event whereas the Swamp Ice Bowl had a scant 46. Clearly Dr. Evil can't handle the pressure of performing in front of a large audience, whereas a true entertainer excels on a grander stage.

It's not too late for you undecideds to get on the winning team here, as Rich begins his inevitable downward spiral while I'm taking huge strides forward.

Hey Hysell... ;)

the truly embarrassing part is that i let teescum tie me! :eek:

i guess your experience with the xholes paid off. but nex ttime will be different. most likely i will be playing rockburn and you patapsco. we shall see who cashes better on their home course!

other interesting stats:

times cashed :
hawk 1/2
evil 2/2

head to head 1-1

other interesting stats:

times cashed :
hawk 1/2
evil 2/2




Interesting for you, but irrelevant for this thread. Allow me to remind you what matters:

<font color="red">Hawk </font>: Per Tourney Winnings: $7.50

<font color="green">Rich </font>: Per Tourney Winnings: $6.25.

You have a good time at Rockburn lowering that number.

i think my chances at rockburn are at least as good as yours at patapsco. at any rate, i don't plan on letting this bet decide when or where i play this year. i'll play when i want and let the chips fall where they may. i think in the end you will be buying me lunch at hooters! and i expect you to tell each o lovely young lady we encounter there that i beat you and you have to buy me lunch! :D

i think in the end you will be buying me lunch at hooters!



Welcome to Fantasy Island. (http://www.trashfiction.co.uk/fantasy_island.jpg) That's you on the right.

Nice Win Hawk.

Who's hosting the Patapsco I.B. ?

Thank you fan. I believe it will be the Myers with hair and game.

i think my chances at rockburn are at least as good as yours at patapsco.



Sure they are since I'm planning on skipping Rockburn. Keep relying on chance as you scramble to gather crumb$.


i don't plan on letting this bet decide when or where i play this year.



What factors do go into this complicated decision process? The cart and Mojo friendliness of the course? Could you share with us the formula you use in your decision making?


i'll play when i want and let the chips fall where they may.



Is this a concession speech in January? By chips do you mean cow chips?

I believe it will be the Myers with hair and game.



:D BURN! :D

thanks for bringing the tour to the druid ice bowl and thanks for the charitable contributions. i hope everyone had their share of free crack.

Thanks for running another stellar event. You know I'd never miss a Paul/Druid tourney. The Ice Bowl/ X-holes combo hopefully with be a keeper tradition.

I am very happy that you saved billy's puppy? Tell me did you get any where with his mom. She probably digs discgolfers that cash.

Tell me did you get any where with his mom.



John,

Do you know who you are asking this of?

Thanks for running another stellar event. You know I'd never miss a Paul/Druid tourney. The Ice Bowl/ X-holes combo hopefully with be a keeper tradition.



you bet. the x-holes at the druid ice bowl are here to stay.

Tell me did you get any where with his mom.



John,

Do you know who you are asking this of?



I hope she kept the dress on. Bathroom quickies are easier when dresses are involved. This is true of elevators and wedding receptions as well.

I have complete confidence that you will coast to an easy victory for the year HG. Just watch out for the Fall Sabotage if it gets close after the summer...you know how Evil lurks.

Just watch out for the Fall Sabotage if it gets close after the summer...you know how Evil lurks.




Bumps,

Fear not, for I know how Evil throws.

if one slips out of my hands and pops you in the head, that is an accident! :o

Unless I'm in your group you have no chance of throwing far enough to hit me, even from a parallel fairway.

I saw the greatest grip lock ever at the Druid Debacle. I was playing with Eric S(unpronouncable) who twice while attempting to throw his Shark on approaches managed to actually send the disc hurtling away from himself at a 90 degree angle. Perhaps it was coincidence that both times I was standing on that side, but it was the worse case of yankage I have ever seen.

Excuse me...I've been doing this tooo long to think that you let me tie you! They way I see it...you finally got good enough the FINALLY tie me.

Hey Rich, there's some naked guy here looking to talk to you.

how embarassing! i got tied by a weird naked guy! :o

And let's not forget your embarassing inability to open your bottle of Arizona Green Tea or whatever that junk was you were drinking pre tourney. You had to come slinking over to Your Disc Golf Hero to muscle the screw top off for you.

<font color="purple"> Druid Ice Bowl Official Results:</font>

Look at how the division crumbled in the face of greatness.


masters
shannon lally 77 is he really THAT old?
tom edwards 80
<font color="red"> hawk 82 </font>
mark susi 83
<font color="green"> rich myers 83 </font>
george b 88
billie boyd 88
wayne zink 88
charlie parker 88

dr. evil was sending me some desperate pm's trying to discredit the validity of the payouts! :eek:

i recalculated and they are correct.

dr. evil was sending me some desperate pm's



I'm shocked at the depths he'll sink to in questioning your integrity. Perhaps if he hadn't slinked off with his fellow vanquished Rockburnian Billstream he wouldn't have (yet again) embarassed himself publicly.

The pm's I get from him are even funnier than his posts on the thread here.

The two of them are fortunate that I'm skipping this Saturday's event at the teeless wonderland. Though the temptation of taking Dr. Excuse down on his home course and driving the stake through his heart does exist. It's a no lose situation for me.

yeah, like you would dare to show up at rockburn. boyd and i would BOTH smack you down like an uppity ho! :o

I'm just trying to give you a free pass. However since Patapsco is apparently doing the sissy one rounder also, I can't take the moral high ground on this anymore.

The only person I see you smacking is yourself in a frenzy of self abuse.

the only abuse i see happening is verbal when you come in DFL and everyone mocks you! :D

How can I end up DFL? You're playing aren't you? Isn't the course pro going to be there?

I'll make my final decision later, but if I show you'll need to come to Patapsco the following weekend and take your medicine as a diplomatic exchange.

Now go make me some tees out there, in the event I decide to grace you riff raff with my presence.

actually, seven (i believe) did a fine number on most of the tees at the rock and it is playing well.

see if you can top my 51 ;)

I believe Dr. Exercise is out trying to create tees to lure me out to his course tomorrow for another head to head $howdown. Hmmmm...it's his home course so if he ca$hes ahead of me that's to be expected, and if I ca$h ahead of him it's a huge psychological blow. Couple that with the fact that this is the most physical labor he's done since the early 90's. So if he even manages to show up tomorrow he should be a wreck. Add to that the chance to see the course contact Billstream and local madman Ski rolling around on the ground in some mando fenzy makes this almost to good to still pass on.

Throw 'em well Hawk, you Virginia fans hope you smoke that Dr. Evil guy.

Hawk, it being is home course only give him the ability to overthink the shots...and you know what happens when we start thinking too much!

Hopefully I'll be there to smoke you BOTH!

Thanks for the support Jeff. I'll be sure to wear it.

Hopefully I'll be there to smoke you BOTH!



Suzy,

Is that some socially inappropriate sexual advance? The only contest I see you defeating us in would be shoulder width. As I was reading these posts the cell phone rings and it's Dr. Excuse.

Hawk: Hey.
Dr. Excuse: Okay well the tee pads aren't going to be freshened up.
H: Why not?
DE: The pile of crush over here is frozen like a rock. There's no way to get it apart.
H: Use your massive physique.
DE: Yeah right.
H: See this is why you're the TD and I'm the Asst. Course Pro. This never would have happened to me.
DE: Yeah well the tees are still pretty good.
H: Uh huh.
DE: All I had to do is move #2 to the side for some good footing.
H: How far to the side? The parking lot?
DE: Ha ha.
H: I can see right though this.
DE: What?
H: Obviously you want to make conditions as poor as possible to maximize you home course advantage. I'm used to playing under top conditions, while you are comfortable wallowing in the gutter.
DE: Who uses wallowing in an actual sentence?
H: Okay well enjoy your day of practice. Tire your arm and heel out so you can lose to Susi tomorrow.
DE: Hah. He's my #$*&amp;$!. I'll punk his #$*&amp;$!.
H: I don't think you can talk like that on the message bored.
DE: #$*&amp;$! the message bored. I've got my own low rent one.
H: Okay I have to go and serve the public some more now. Thanks for your contribution to the tourney.
DE: You're welcome.

Hawk - Take it as you will. But unfortunately I DON'T get to take you two to school tomorrow as My daughter has gynmnastics from 10:00 to 11:00 so I will be going to play doubles at Seneca (if they are still having it)

But unfortunately I DON'T get to take you two to school tomorrow



Look Rich. As soon as word gets out about the conditions at your home course disc golf notables start bailing instantly.

No Seneca doubles on Saturdays that conflict with Ice Bowls so save your trip. I fully understand skipping disc to watch young girls in leotards. I've alerted the authorities of your intentions.

Hawk (http://vegalleries.com/wbltd/56superman.jpg) <font color="red"> SPANKS </font> Dr. Evil (http://www.johnberman.com/pics/funny/loser.jpg) <font color="red">FOR THE SECOND WEEK IN A ROW!!! </font>

<font color="green"> Humiliating Defeat In The Rockburn Ice Bowl On His Home Course Leaves Rich Shaken &amp; Stirred! </font>

Allow me to briefly summarize todays crushing psychological defeat the Evil One suffered at the hands of Your Disc Golf Hero.

Rich was assisting Course Contact Billstream this morning assigning groups. Hoping to gain an edge he assigned me to the furthest tee from tourney HQ's, /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif in a blatant attempt to tire me out as my group started on #16. Meanwhile Rich's effort goes for naught since Your Disc Golf Hero is a finely conditioned athlete, and a long walk in the park is simply a walk in the park. :DIn addition to this Rich was so distracted by his plot that he actually forgot to assign himself to a group :oand had to join an exisiting fivesome to make the rare herdlike sixsome. :D

There was something like 85 players today. :cool:This obviously worked against Rich as he again failed to perform in front of a large audience. :( When everything was said and done the margin of defeat increased by 100% from last weekend. Final scores were:

Hawk-58 ;)
Rich-60 :mad:

Now for the really good part. :D I ended up tied for second, and Rich ended up tied for I believe fourth. Rich slinked away quickly after the round to lick his wounds under his front porch leaving Billstream to fend for himself configuring the payouts. Approximately two hours :eek: after the completion of the lone round the payouts were announced, and I naturally ca$hed, :Dbut Rich went unpaid as Billstream announced something along the lines of,


Due to all the ties we're only paying blah blah blah...



So Your Disc Golf Hero walks away (and I did keep the money this time and not donate it back as it's bloodmoney from Evil's home course) with the biggest payout of the bet to date:<font color="blue"> $30! </font> :D :) :D

That brings the current bet tally to:

<font color="red">Hawk </font>: Events-3, Total Winnings-$45, Average Winnings-$15. :D
<font color="green">Rich </font>: Events-3, Total Winnings-$12.50, Average Winnings-$4.17. :o

So my average has gone up for two straight weeks, and Rich's number is shrinking like a man taking a swim in some really cold water.

Next match is at The Patapsco Ice Bowl in one week. Rich might not be able to buy lunch (http://www.ecybertron.com/happymeals/bmhappymeal2a.jpg) with his average winnings by then.

yeah, i think i tired out. i was even after 11 holes and cruising along when suddenly i took a 4 on #6 followed by a 5 on #7 after playing a safe roc shot instead of a driver and hitting the first tree off the tee! then i had a great drive on # 8 but left my putt under the fallen tree and ate another 4. failed to can a 25' bird on 9(low). hit the tree on 10 and failed to clear the hill but managed a 4. 3'd 11, but botched a 30' putt on 12 for another bogey to finish the round. around these parts we call that a bill-fold! :oi'll have to step it up at patapsco, as Hawk is proving his game is improved!

Way to go, My Disc Golf Hero!

Thanks Fan.

Hawk's article was a better read than anything in my local Sunday paper. :D

yeah, i think i tired out.



Translation: I'm a load.


i was even after 11 holes and cruising along when suddenly i took a 4 on #6 followed by a 5 on #7 after playing a safe roc shot instead of a driver and hitting the first tree off the tee! then i had a great drive on # 8 but left my putt under the fallen tree and ate another 4. failed to can a 25' bird on 9(low). hit the tree on 10 and failed to clear the hill but managed a 4. 3'd 11, but botched a 30' putt on 12 for another bogey to finish the round.



Translation: I suck.


around these parts we call that a bill-fold!



Translation: I really hope they don't start calling these Code Rich.


i'll have to step it up at patapsco, as Hawk is proving his game is improved!



Translation: I wish I was Hawk.

Hawk's article was a better read than anything in my local Sunday paper.



My goals here are to educate as well as entertain.

i'll have to step it up at patapsco, as Hawk is proving his game is improved!




That sounds to me like Dr. Evil is ready to concede the seasons victory to Hawk after only a month. Clearly he has realized he is no match for an international Disc Golf Superstar lke Hawk.

That sounds to me like Dr. Evil is ready to concede the seasons victory to Hawk after only a month. Clearly he has realized he is no match for an international Disc Golf Superstar lke Hawk.




Uh...Rich,

Where are all those fools who voted for you to defend you? There seems to be an overwhelming groundswell of support for Your Disc Golf Hero here.

i like being the underdog. all the more satisfying when i collect that lunch!

I suggest getting your finger out of your mouth while you throw...guaranteed 3 stroke difference.

How were the pads HG?

i like being the underdog.



The underdog? You're winning the popular vote, and as others and you have pointed out you're the higher rated player. How exactly are you the underdog other than the fact that you're not me?

How were the pads HG?



buMPS,

They aren't really pads. More like rutted dirt areas with trace amounts of crush. I was however able to overcome these adverse conditions and persevere. That's why I'm a Disc Golf Hero, and Rich is some guy sucking his pinkie. Rich and his companion Ox did do a nice job of flagging and spray painting the tees. However you weren't always sure if this was where you were supposed to throw from or if you had stumbled onto some construction site. (http://www.harfordcountymd.gov/dpw/ws/images/missutility.jpg)

Rockburn Ice Bowl Paid Scores:


masters:
joe h-55
hawk-58
shannon-58
susi-59
steve g-59




Hmmmm...somethings missing here.

Good Job Mr. Hawk sir clearly the rich keep getting richer.
Dr excuses er evil seemed to run into his lack of skill. Sorry to hear the mishappenings evil guy... better luck next time. (because it doesn't sound like trying harder will help any)

<font color="red">Hawk </font>: Events-3, Total Winnings-$45, Average Winnings-$15. :D
<font color="green">Rich </font>: Events-3, Total Winnings-$12.50, Average Winnings-$4.17. :o



wanna make dr.ivel sweat? the smart play would be to stop playing events now and trust that with the end of ice bowl season looming, the chances of dr.ivel averaging $15 on the season is very slim.

While a sound strategy, the rules as detailed on page one prevent this. We each need to play at least 15 singles tourneys. I had suggested to him last week that we should have used a higher number, but he declined the adjustment. Yet another bad call on the side of Evil. I do agree though that if I can take him out again at Patapsco, the easy money is finished except for Swamp monthlies. Hopefully the margin grows again, and then I'm banking surplus baby!

Good Job Mr. Hawk



Thanks fan.

you'r enot that far ahead. if i cash for 30$ and you get shut out we are basically back to even. it's a looong season hawkman. don't wear yourself out in the first month and then have to eat all those words later!

you'r enot



Where's Hysell when you need him? Could you start capitalizing at the beginning of sentences please? This stuff is painful enough to read based on substance, but the style is abysmal.


if i cash for 30$ and you get shut out we are basically back to even



Hey what's the Easter bunny bringing you this year Rich? In addition I'd still be Your Disc Golf Hero, and you'd sill be a guy with an obvious oral fixation.


don't wear yourself out in the first month



Fear not. My conditioning is such that I'm doing one handed push-ups and typing this at the same time. As Paul pointed out it almost looks like I can shift it into cruise control the rest of the way.


eat all those words later



The way things are going it looks like the only thing I'll be eating is a bottomless supply of burgers and fries courtesy of you.

Looks like Dr. Evil was "overthinking" the holes. He let both Hawk and I beat him!

it might have been that i screwed the draw so rayally i ended up in a sixsome with INT players and had everyone on my #$*&$! complaining! naaahhhh. i just collapsed. hopefully i will be able to make patapsco so i can keep hawk from piling up too big a lead...

i ended up in a sixsome with INT players



Am I the only one who finds this totally fitting?


hopefully i will be able to make patapsco



Scared to keep your end of the deal since I came to your place huh?


so i can keep hawk from piling up too big a lead...



Your presence prevents this how exactly?

Your Disc Golf Hero makes his move with the voting public. The late converts are coming to Jesus. (http://home.arcor.de/Bisch-Web/Erfolg/Pics/micha05.jpg)

Sources have revealed to me that Rich has actually voted for himself three times. Does this mans shame know no limit?

i'm still looking for more PC's to vote on! :o

That's the only way you're going to get votes. Your play certainly isn't motivating the voting public. Perhaps you should consider a marketing campaign. I used this poster (http://peen0r.gerl.org/pictures/david.jpg) to great success in the past. You can't underestimate the appeal of puppies.

Sometimes I feel as if you overestimate the appeal of Hasslehoff...
Stick with Estrada...he has to have done puppy pics, right??

oh no! did i just hear someone diss hasselhoff in Hawks's presence? ouch!

vote for me bump! My posters would include Someone (http://sh.sina.com.cn/eat/U471P18T122D864F2368DT20050801101205.jpg) much more enticing than hasselhoff. unless you go for that kind of thing...

Sometimes I feel as if you overestimate the appeal of Hasslehoff...



bBabe,

Overestimate? The man who gave us this? (http://gallery.winboard.org/data/media/1/1024_768_baywatch.jpg) Are you insane?

My posters would include Someone much more enticing than hasselhoff



That's the best you can do? Did you even consider the fact that you've stepped in my arena. (http://www.cyber-surfer.com/models/ria-armas/bikinis-models-02.jpg) I doubt you could win this (http://www.cyber-surfer.com/models/ria-armas/bikinis-models-04.jpg) either.


unless you go for that kind of thing...



From Rich's minor league bored in response to some loser who had an unpleasant experience after stumbling into the Ice Bowl horde at Rockburn last weekend:


If you see me around( the big bald dude with a bright green element) let me know and i'll try to make it up to you for your bad experience with a disc or something.



What does that mean...or something? Is he offering a handy?!?!?

Meanwhile he's also trolling for help from Mr. Zink to counter the beatings he's taking this season via the Wednesday night glow party at Pine Grove:


Good Doctor � glow practice with a Roc and a putter is guaranteed to give you the skills to defeat Hawkgammon and secure that lunch.-izink





thaks wayne! i will try it if i am ever off on wed. if not i may try it out at rockburn next time i'm "walking" the dog.-Dr. Evil




Two things here:
1. Is this walking the dog related to or something?

2. I will actually be out glowing with the boys on 2-15 and 2-23. Rich talks, I do.

yeah, trying to beat hawk at posting is a losing idea. but i hope to win the bet anyway...i expect hawk to have a bad day soon and collapse under the pressure...

but i hope to win the bet



Translation: I've totally thrown in the towel at this point.


i expect hawk to have a bad day soon



Translation: I have given several examples of this with my own recent play. It's got to rub off eventually.


collapse under the pressure



Translation: Like my heel.

Working out last night with such incredible effort I actually tasted bile. Defeating you never requires anywhere near that kind of effort.

Sometimes I feel as if you overestimate the appeal of Hasslehoff...



bBabe,

Overestimate? The man who gave us this? (http://gallery.winboard.org/data/media/1/1024_768_baywatch.jpg) Are you insane?



Your case has been made, and although I am now convinced that the H-bomb is worthy of praise in his own right, wouldn't you be more interested in promoting this guy? (http://www.daserste.de/cmspix/bildgalerie/zoom_600_450_1010200328424.jpg)

I've been a subscriber since I was 13. We share the same birthday. I interned there during college. Need I say more? The difference is he creates sex symbols and some of us are sex symbols.

This just in for you Dr. Evil fans. Rich is getting his teeth cleaned at the dentist (http://www.drblende.com/) today and isn't sure if he's up to making the Patapsco Ice Bowl tomorrow. Is that soft (http://gustibros.com/nss-folder/pictures/softcone.jpg) or what?

It's a ruse. He'll be more dentally aerodynamic tomorrow and ready to throw down.

Rich is getting his teeth cleaned at the Dentist today and isn't sure if he's up to making the Patapsco Ice Bowl tomorrow.



Wow, a teeth cleaning causing you to miss disc golf the following day, his teeth must have looked like this (http://www.restorteeth.com/reports/vol10no3/topteeth.jpg) before he went in.

As for me, I once played 36 holes 2 days after having all 4 wisdom teeth removed, and it was all thanks to the pills.

It's a ruse.



Luis,

His whole game is a ruse as we've seen in his January performances.

As for me, I once played 36 holes 2 days after having all 4 wisdom teeth removed



Jeff,

Clearly you're more manly than Evil (http://www.babybabyphoto.com/family/images/02baby_flowers.jpg) . Unfortunately that's not the huge accomplishment you were hoping it to be.

bite me!

i have a serious tooth infection that has spread to my jaw. i will play if i can. you on the other hand have no excuse not to cash at your home course!

bite me!



Considering the subject matter, that's your most clever post to date.


you on the other hand have no excuse not to cash at your home course!




I believe you've already demonstrated that not ca$hing on your home course is possible.

Excuses already?

can't those at least wait till you lose to Hawk this weekend?

what? do i need a note from my doctor? or copies of the antibiotic and hydrocodone scrips? /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif

It appears the reading public has turned on you after your early claims of domination, and your subsequent failures. Only action may redeem you in their eyes...and votes.

or copies of the antibiotic and hydrocodone scrips? /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif



Lots of people play while stoned on perscription drugs. Maybe it'll make your putting better?

Maybe it'll make your putting better?



Apparently not.

Not a good day for the thread twosome out at Patapsco. Playing in a damp chill with 15 mph winds, and finishing the last five holes or so under a downpour neither of us managed to cash. Rich was probably lucky to finish, and actually would have been wiser to not play as it hurts his already miniscule ca$h reserve.

The winner of my card (Andy) was the last place ca$h so hearing that freed me up to motor on with errands. Final damage for the 20 holes was:


Masters
Mr. Codorus 65
Joe Hewlet 66
Joe P 68
Seven 69
Andy C 70
Bill Boyd 71
TE 72
Hawk 74
Mack 75
George 76
C. Beach 78
Dave Hoff 79
Dr Evil 81
Charlie G 999




Thanks to the presence and inevitable meltdown of Charlie, Rich manages to avoid total last place. I suspected that Rich might have a cushion when on hole #5 one of my card members, George, spots a blue disc laying OB in the center of the road. He checks it out and it belongs to the levelheaded Charlie. That told me that there was a good chance that he had walked.

One of my problems today was the horrific shots I threw with my midranges. I've decided to take a page out of Lord Hysell's book and go to the Codorus Ice Bowl tomorrow sans middies. After all the only difference between Chris and I considering anything 150' and in a putt is that his have a slightly better chance of going in.

Codorus won't count in the bet as it's partially a random doubles round, so it doesn't meet the criteria of singles competition. Rich says he'll be staying home working on his flossing techniques.

The next battle is probably going to be at the February swamp monthly which may be next Sunday.

The current standings still find Your Disc Golf Hero comfortably in the lead.

Hawk : Events-4, Total Winnings-$45, Average Winnings-$11.25. ;)
Rich : Events-4, Total Winnings-$12.50, Average Winnings-$3.13. :o

uuuggghhh! never play a bet round while still delerious from infection, vicodin and antibiotics. it doesn't work. at least not for us squares....

congrats on a resounding 7 stroke victory Hawk!


I think this is a start of a trend, as Hawk will continue to fight for the cash, while Dr. Evil will continue to fight to avoid DFL.

Don't you hate it when you double post?

congrats on a resounding 7 stroke victory Hawk!



Thanks fan. Unfortunately it's only a psychological victory, and I believe the good doctor has already crumbled. It's not even Valentine's Day (http://3wisheslingerie.com/images/ruffletangashort-l.jpg) yet!

played 9 holes at hawk hollow today, back feels ok. i'm coming for you honda driving punks. :D

I've decided to take a page out of Lord Hysell's book and go to the Codorus Ice Bowl tomorrow sans middies. After all the only difference between Chris and I considering anything 150' and in a putt is that his have a slightly better chance of going in.




Hawk, it is always good for current celebrities to stay "hip" (http://www.asstastic.org/images/estrada.jpg) and follow in the footsteps of other celebrities. I hope your move pays (http://www.ica-d.com/puzzle/play/free/world/money/money093.jpg) off for you.

i'm coming for you honda driving punks



Surely you don't think I'm intimidated by the likes of you (http://www.jayzoo.com/wallpaper/pics/Blarney%20-%20Cow%20Field.jpg) now do you? Rich on the other hand is doubtlessly sobbing quietly at home rocking in the fetal position.

i'm coming for you honda driving punks



Surely you don't think I'm intimidated by the likes of you (http://www.jayzoo.com/wallpaper/pics/Blarney%20-%20Cow%20Field.jpg) now do you?



I hear that John like to spread double-baked mashed potatoes on the end of the pad after he throws on each hole. Be careful HG...I know you are used to slippin' (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.drh-movement.org/OLD/finished%2520pictures/mud_action_girls.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.drh-movement.org/OLD/News/mud_wrestling_competition.htm&h=150&w=200&sz=12&tbnid=B4ZdYgKRzlqVLM:&tbnh=74&tbnw=99&hl=en&start=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmud%2Bwrestling%26start%3D120%26svnum %3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN) and slidin' (http://www.new-mexico-catalog.com/assets/images/1104M.jpg) at John's place, but mashed potatoes can cause serious injury.

Bump,

Mr. Biscoe is of no concern to me at this time. He's just trying to generate some attention for himself off our heat. My focus is laser like and solely directed at Evil who is melting like a snowman after an April snowstorm.

I just noticed on line that today is Rich's birthday. Let me be the first to wish him well, and perhaps I'll let him lead after the first round of our next joint tourney as a gift. Naturally I'll squash him during the second round, but half a day of glory is better than what he's been getting lately.

Happy B-Day Rich.

Other notable birthdays
Ashton Kutcher- you've been punked
Chris Rock - how much for just one rib?
Craig Hysell - Chris's little brother who can out-putt Hawk

thanks guys.

i am in the process of formulating a new strategy to keep hawk from gaining an insurmountable lead while i get my body and game back together. for now it involves heckling him while in his group, greasy breakfast foods and double baked mashed potatoes on the tees...

for now it involves heckling him while in his group



This is a new strategy?


greasy breakfast foods



There might be some potential in that.


double baked mashed potatoes on the tees...



Like you would waste such food in that manner.


while i get my body...back together.



It's a lifting night at the gym. You're welcome to join us.

HFB Dr. Evil.

MUST BEAT HAWK!!!

need to put him back in his place. a couple good whippins and he'll have more whine than napa valley! after that he will crumble like moldy cheese

Are y'all competing this weekend?

Evil will engulf more hearts.

Evil, don't forget that you still have a secret weapon. The mancrush that Hawk has on me causes him to finish DFL whenever i'm around. Use it wisely.

yes, i tried to lure him to the great wytee open, but he's punking out. something about not being able to handle playing so many weekends in a row. i think his arm is worn out. i won't need your help lord hysell, to crush him at calvert. i always crush beat him there. hopefully i can lure him to loriella. there the combo or his poor track record there and his mancrush on hysell should allow me to comfortably outcash him. and biscoe [email protected]!!

Are y'all competing this weekend?




We are both scheduled to be at the Swamp monthly this Sunday. A little pitch and putt course where Evil last prevailed.

I'm not quite sure that I would use compete and Rich in the same sentence.

Use it wisely.



I'm not sure I'd use Rich and wise in the same thought.

the great wytee open,



Is that a spelling or sobriety test?


i think his arm is worn out.



The piston is fine. The only thing worn out here is your string of failures and the accompanying explanations.


i always crush beat him there.



This is just gibberish. Both as a sentence and a thought.


and biscoe [email protected]!!



Having realized that he's in over his head here, Rich sets his sites on another target.

After my redemption this Sunday at the Swamp, that will be the fourth consecutive thrashing. It might not be a bad idea to try and get me on the road. You've done nothing locally.

Evil lurks behind every corner, waiting to beat you upside your super-enlarged head. It's great that you've had a little chance to take some ice bowl cash in the warm-ups. obviously no pdga cash, so it's lucky for you we included local cash. but if you want to know who will winn this bet, look back at our track records over the long haul. last year i outcashed you over 3 to 1 according to the pdga site. and am rated 2 strokes a round better even after my tribulations last year changing my grip and putters. your track record is taking cash once and a long string of failures and DFL...I rest my case...

I don't think what happened in the past matters.

a very smart man once said...."those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."

look back at our track records



My track record is this: In 2004 I had a similar bet with Paul and crushed him so badly that if it had been a boxing match Richard Steele would have stepped in and stopped in sometime around July.

Last year I was not as motivated. This year I am. You will pay the price. Clearly you are the favorite based on the stats you quoted. That will simply make your defeat all the more humiliating.

I will ride in to your town, have your women, burn the buildings to the ground, and then salt the earth so nothing ever grows there again. By Summer there will be a pathetic string of posts by you filled with excuses. Hopefully you'll come to your senses and concede so that the remaining 11 months aren't like the first.

a very smart man once said...."those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."




I've always been partial to this quote. (http://www.diamondvideos.com/images/i_will_dance_on_your_grave_lethal_large.jpg)

i'm more partial to this one

"what is best in life? To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."

besides as another great man once said "I have not yet begun to fight!"

hell, i've barely woken up from hibernation! you'll find that out soon enough when i'm beating you senseless all summer and you are playing the minimum number of events and whining about how you really weren't "motivated" this year....

a very smart man once said




another great man once said



Sadly you are neither of these men.

i've barely woken up from hibernation!



Unfortunately for you this hasn't been a dream. The nightmare is only beginning.

2006 Codorus Ice Bowl Results
PRO MEN
Linc Morgan 84 * won 1 hole playoff
Micah Sullivan 84
Jay. Gobrecht 85
Clint Rey 87
Hawk CKorrick 88
George Brown 88
Mark Boyce 89
Merrill Detweiler 91
Paul Wojick 91
Phil Denhardt 92




Hmmm...whose name is missing from this list of heavy hitters?

As you can see the yankees were so excited with my presence they couldn't even spell my name correctly. Such is the life of Your Disc Golf Hero.

wasn't that doubles?

2/3's of it. The crowd seemed relieved that you didn't show, and no one got saddled with you.

drat! after building a seemingly insurmountable 5 stroke lead in the first round, i suffered a collapse of epic proportions after a wardrobe malfunction caused my hands to get cold and slick and i tin cupped 2 drives wrong side of the mando on my second hole, eating a dreaded double circle 7. ouch. never could rcover, while hawk played it safe with his new disc, mr. coyote and managed to beat my first round score by 2, for an overall 3 stroke win. crap. hope i come out of hibernation soon. i want to make it interesting, but i don't want to spot him too much of a lead or he will just wimp out and play the bare minimum events...

Showdown (http://www.musarium.com/borderstates/images/arizona-gunfight.jpg) in the Snow. (http://www.flipcitygolf.com/SNOW_ON_BASKET.jpg)

We got about a foot of snow here last night. Conditions like these are when most disc golfers choose to pass. However this was a Swamp monthly, and part of my 2006 tour schedule is to play in all of these. So I get up and shovel two cars out this morning, and head on down. Much to my surprise Evilness has beaten me there. Obviously Rich feels his lone win over me this season at the Swamp bodes well for him today. We set out with my snow shovel (I'm always prepared) to clear some of the red (short) tees as others are doing. Club TD Silverwolf wants to just play one round and get home to dryness and warmth, but Rich, myself and others are actively campaigning for two rounds. Off we go.

Starting on #1 with Silverwolf (all the movers and shakers want to play with Your Disc Golf Hero) and local Neil I immediately come out of the box flailing away and missed the hyzer mando! :oThis has become a recent recurring problem. Circle five. The rest of my first round is a string of threes and fours as I opt to go with the Classic Roc over the drivers as I don't want to lose something in the snow. At halftime scores were:

Rich-55 :D
Hawk-60 :(

We head off to lunch (http://www.99w.com/evilsam/ff/chipotle.jpg) where Rich is feeling confident. There are only five Masters in the limited turnout due to the weather so he's seeing dollar $ign$ in his future. He's already composing his victory post out loud while we stand in line. It seems unlikely that a player could make up five strokes over 18 holes on a short course. What kind of man (http://www.ask.com/reference/dictionary/ahdict/64869/hero) could do this?


but he has a dire sense of humour and defeatism when things go wrong during a round.
-Dr. Evil on Hawk (1-6-06)




Rich fails to see this as the clever psychological ploy that lures my opponents into a false sense of security. I am known for my lethal ability to reel people in. I am the fisherman.
-Hawk on Hawk (1-7-06)



Prior to kicking off the second round I am rooting around in SilverWolfs truck o'plastic and find some new discs. (http://www.innovadiscs.com/discs/championCoyote.html) I've never touched one of these before, and after all Lord Hysell (http://www.discraft.com/SponsoredPlayers/ChrisHysell.html) himself has recently added a Buzzz or something to his bag, so maybe a midrange might be in order. Besides what do I have to lose? :p With no practice throws with my safety orange club stamped Coyote I head out to #8 with regular 2nd round card member George (http://www.pdga.com/tournament/playerstats.php?PDGANum=11288) and the lone female participant Miss Rhonda. Where else would the lady want to be?

Using the Coyote off the tee I string together three quick threes. So far so good. Then I get foolish and opt to use a DX Beast to hyzer around the mando on #11. Naturally I miss it, and have a second circle five to go with my debacle on #1 from the first round. :mad:A couple more threes then on #14 I decide to lead by example. We're all about 100' out after some botched drives. I announce that I'll put my Pro Rhyno in for the deuce and promptly proceed to do so. ;) This is the second called deuce George has witnessed by me in competition. He's come to expect greatness. I follow this up by deucing #15 :cool:and miss #16, but get a third deuce in four holes on #17 after I DX Rhyno through the limbs and twigs of a downed tree that has engulfed the basket. :D From there it's a couple of made mandos and a string o'threes as I close out the day. Meanwhile Rich is collapsing like an empty gas bag. (http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/hot-air-balloon-9.jpg)

Scores in the second round:
Hawk-53 (113) :)
Rich-61 (116) :mad:

$20 for me, and I actually missed two under 10' putts that would have mad the slaughter even worse. Another DFL for Evil.

Standings for the season:
<font color="red"> Hawk: </font> Events-5, Total Winnings-$65, Average Winnings-$13. :D
<font color="green"> Rich: </font> Events-5, Total Winnings-$12.50, Average Winnings-$2.50. /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif


a wardrobe malfunction caused my hands to get cold and slick



By the way Rich I believe you left your brown gloves in my car after lunch. /msgboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif


after building a seemingly insurmountable 5 stroke lead in the first round



:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

a picture of me after the monthly today...

http://home.comcast.net/~rhmiracle/dammit.jpg

A picture of Rich near the end of the second round yesterday:

http://sportsnavi.yahoo.co.jp/fight/pict/200409/25/040925_kak_k1_06_02_b.jpg

Swamp Results Month Two:


MPM Mark Boyce 49 50 99
MPM Mac Snelgrove 55 55 110
MPM Hawk Corrick 60 53 113
MPM George Brown 61 54 115
MPM Rich Myers 55 61 116




Oh my! :o

i will never let you beat me at the swamp again!!! :mad:

mark my words coyote-boy......

i will never let you beat me at the swamp again!!!




Yeah like that quote's not going to come back to haunt you. Perhaps in as little as four weeks.


coyote-boy



Innova has been contacted. Coyotes are on the way. Fear my four molds.

maybe it will, maybe it won't. it wouldn't be the first time my mouth wrote a check my rear couldn't cash....

my rear couldn't cash....



Is this a reference to your time in #$*&$! porn?

no, i was reffering to you. remember i was your Manager !

Well there is certainly no doubt that out of the two of us, I'd be the money maker. This whole thread demonstrates that, and also a disturbing pattern of performance problems on your part that would make your viability as an adult film star questionable.

talk all you want, we're barely 45 days in to a bet that is 365 days long. you may have sprinted out to a little lead, but definitely nothing like insurmountable. i like being the underdog anyway, it will be that much more satisfying if i can pull out the apparently impossible task of beating the great Hawk...keep your eye on your rear view mirror.

talk all you want



You're the one doing all the talking. I'm the one doing the walking.


you may have sprinted out to a little lead



Actually it's been more like a stroll up to this point. You wouldn't understand this as it's related to athletics, but it's always best to warm up easily before really exerting at something.


i like being the underdog anyway



This campaign you keep trying to get rolling painting yourself as the poor victim is really sad. As you yourself recently pointed out:


last year i outcashed you over 3 to 1 according to the pdga site. and am rated 2 strokes a round better
-Dr. Envy 2-10-06



Just because you're choking here early like a fat man at an all you can eat buffet doesn't make you the underdog. You were the favorite based on stats and early votes. You've merely let down the PDGA and your supporters thus far, but would still have to be considered the favorite. I'm just a Disc Golf Hero trying to hang with someone of your superior skills.

how can a disc golf hero be an underdog? except to another disc golf hero of course! :D

talk all you want, we're barely 45 days in to a bet that is 365 days long. you may have sprinted out to a little lead, but definitely nothing like insurmountable. i like being the underdog anyway, it will be that much more satisfying if i can pull out the apparently impossible task of beating the great Hawk...keep your eye on your rear view mirror.




The general public is glad you have finally realized who is the superior player in this contest.

how can a disc golf hero be an underdog? except to another disc golf hero of course!



Please be advised that Disc Golf Hero is a licensed trademark and unauthorized use could have legal ramifications.

The general public is glad you have finally realized who is the superior player in this contest.




Thanks fan. Unfortunately Dr. Envy is still delusional in that he thinks he has a chance here.

do you actually think i have no chance?

do you actually think i have no chance?




Users may choose only one (67 total votes)
Dr. Evil 46%

HawkGammon 53%





Me and 53% of the voting public at this point. Of course I could get sick or hurt which might...might give you a chance.

Perhaps if you actually ca$h in the double digits you'll get some more consideration. Your $7.50 and $5 isn't exactly giving me the shakes yet.

ratings gap has closed. hawk is only down by 10 points now so he must be the odds on favorite to win.

...and i've passed both you schleps! :D

Your only 18 points down to me now paul. BTW it looks like Hawkgammon may win this one by default. The Bad doctor used to have game but now, he does not. Meanwhile hawk is steadily mediocre.

ratings gap has closed. hawk is only down by 10 points now so he must be the odds on favorite to win.




Is that a concession speech? Are you ready to pony up the lunch? How does my being behind you by 10 points make me the favorite other than I'm a Disc Golf Hero, and you're not? Again who cares about ratings, this is a bet about ca$h. You may have forgotten that since you haven't seen any in about a month now.

BTW it looks like Hawkgammon may win this one by default. The Bad doctor used to have game but now, he does not. Meanwhile hawk is steadily mediocre.




Thanks fan. I'm not sure you want to publish that photo on the internet. That looks like something that ends up with you having a sign in your front yard, and the police visiting the neighbors on your street.

shark's gonna get some payback here also. why would i concede after less than 2 month's? it's not like you're lighting it up either mr. gammon... /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif

why would i concede after less than 2 month's?



Uh...because you suck, and there's little hope for you.


it's not like you're lighting it up either



I don't have to. I just have to beat you which equals the effort and energy of a firefly. Please note I've ca$hed at four out of my last five events, and you...haven't.


mr. gammon



Yes address me respectfully tool, but learn to capitalize.

Newsflash!!!

Dr.Evil is invited to PDGA Pro Worlds 2006 while Hawk is consigned to waitinglist status! :D

Dr.Evil is invited to PDGA Pro Worlds 2006 while Hawk is consigned to waitinglist status!



Wouldn't I want to go first to get on the waiting list you #$*&$!? Good luck with that as there's many more people there to beat you than just Your Disc Golf Hero.

i may not be able to go, but i though tit funny that i was invited. look at the other MPM invites from our state and you'll see why. craiger, nospin, boyce, the glove....
somehow i barely snuck in with over 300 points and top 25%. i didn't realize there were that many more masters in the state...they must have just played very few events....

Apparently they do it based on your actual age not what division you normally play. You'll recall the Craig eschews the Masters division, but is listed as one by the PDGA.

The other guys didn't tourney enough to rack up any points. You plugged along with your 15 or so events.

i just didn't realize there were enough masters to get me into the top 25%! guess i should thank chucker and bill boyd!

True. It's not like you set the world on fire last season.

HG...Put your hero powers aside for the next matchup just to make it fair.
No one watches a blowout...

Hawk- have you ever considered playing with your opposite hand so that Dr. Evil at least has a chance?


We just don't think it's fair right now

HG...Put your hero powers aside for the next matchup just to make it fair.
No one watches a blowout...





Hawk- have you ever considered playing with your opposite hand so that Dr. Evil at least has a chance?


We just don't think it's fair right now




Gentlemen,

I can appreciate your concerns. As a professional athlete, as well as a sports fan, I know that I also prefer the close matches.

Who knew that Dr. Envy was going to be such an empty load that this would turn into; not a competition, but an extended practice session? While playing left handed is tempting, if successful Dr. Empty might become completely suicidal. I have attempted to give him a chance by using the never thrown putters at the Druid Ice Bowl, and of course there was the recent introduction of a brand new mold in the highly successful second round at this months Swamp event.

Perhaps I'll arrive late at the next event and take some 7's (because we know Dr. Ethel will have some on his card) to give him a fighting chance.

<font color="black"> Evil Update </font>

Rich is heading out to Seneca this Sunday in a desperate bid to earn some money. It's a ratings based gig where he can play in the silver division and hopefully scrape together some ca$h. Hopefully they'll pay the silver crowd in plastic!

Knowing your penchant for high quality, I'm assuming you would be in the platinum division HG?

Unfortunately this event caps out at gold, so I believe I'll be forced to pass.

if it doesn't pay cash i'm assuming it doesn't count towards the bet as an event....