Feb 10 2005, 07:52 PM
Hi all! Appreciate your responses to this inquiry. As always, your candor and insight into the inner workings of the game we love are very precious to me and although we haven�t yet met or had the wonderful opportunity to toss the pizza together, I�m sending out a big psychic embrace to you all!
As we near spring time, which is the most luscious of all the seasons, I was moved to begin practicing my sidearm throwing motion. While I still have the lean physique of a synchronized swimmer or an ice dancer, I was troubled by what I felt was the lack of oomph in my sidearm tosses: To that end, I determined that the body hair on my right side was causing drag and impeding my throws. Now while I appreciate drag as much as the next guy, I subsequently shaved the hair along the right side of my body as I am a right hander. (Rather I should say I had a waxing professional do the honors because as we all know, it is difficult if not impossible to use an electric shaver on such a project without using the hand you favor�)
I believe the smooth skin on the right side of my body has reduced drag and added as much as 15-20 extra feet to my throws. Now here�s an interesting aside to that observation: I noted that when I use a heavier brand of emollient on that side, my increased distance basically shrivels, but when I switch back to something lighter and frothier I can recapture the extra distance.
As some of the dear readers know, I suffer from a stupendous case of feces hypersensitivity � as such I wear a surgical glove on each hand while playing. I know that some will immediately call out my ignorance for having reduced drag by shaving my body hair but continuing to wear my glove(s): I too was troubled by this seeming bit of irony and decided that the way to improve the drag coefficient of the upper portion of the glove was to apply a length of duct tape around my wrists.
While there are some out there who might scoff at the fashion implications of the duct tape I can only say that if it bothers you that much I would urge the use of strategically placed wrist sweatbands to cover the tape. I tried this but found that the body lotions I use mixed in with the sweatband and when I used the sweatband to dab perspiration from my forehead and face I subsequently caused my face to break out from the body lotion. I wanted to give myself 10 lashes for being so forgetful about my acne problem which is exacerbated by my having to shave the entirety of my face every third day due to a lifelong struggle with hirsutism.
Anyway: How about it group? Have any of the dear readers noted any increase in length after removal of body hair? Now I also don�t want to discard the notion that this could just be an optical illusion and that I just seem longer after removing the body hair? I�ve not had the opportunity to measure myself officially and my roommate has usually done the honors but he is out of town this week attending a renaissance fair. I had hoped to go but was forced to cancel because of an ongoing problem with stomach cramping�

adogg187420
Feb 10 2005, 07:54 PM
LOL...

circle_2
Feb 10 2005, 07:58 PM
A bit too much 'Santorum' with your breakfast flakes?

Feb 10 2005, 08:00 PM
wow

Feb 10 2005, 09:01 PM
As some of the dear readers know, I suffer from a stupendous case of feces hypersensitivity � as such I wear a surgical glove on each hand while playing.



Latex or vinyl gloves? Which has less wind resistance?

woodpecker
Feb 11 2005, 04:16 PM
You got some pretty good ones, can't wait for the next one...

greenbeard
Feb 11 2005, 04:18 PM
http://webpages.charter.net/cptgreenbeard/com.gif

Feb 11 2005, 04:58 PM
Bixby, you may want to apply a liquid latex solution to your hand. It would aid in 2 ways: 1- it would fill the contours of your hand so as to improve the grip and 2- it would eliminate the drag from the end of the glove. I personally thought that your full body spandex garmet would have eliminated any drag from your body hair. Also, instead of the waxing, you could try using olive oil to lubricate your body and the wonderful side effect from this would be a glorious golden tan.

Feb 11 2005, 05:19 PM
For the record, 16 months ago I shaved my head bald the night before my biggest tournament of the year.

I experienced zero impact, positive or negative, on my distance off the tee, although the lack off insulation did allow my brain to stay cool in the winter weather.

This was no doubt the reason why I cashed.

I would recommend that anyone who is approaching what will be their biggest event of the year immediately buy some clippers and shave their heads completely.

The money or plastic you're certain to win as a result of this, will easily offset the cost of the clippers and be well worth the embarrassment.

Feb 11 2005, 06:05 PM
Whats wrong with a chrome dome? :mad:I shave my head every summer!

WakandaRat
Feb 11 2005, 06:27 PM
I think the real question on baldness and performace should be down stairs. Less friction while walking from hole to hole and your balls would be a few degree's cooler than your opponent and less shweetty. :D:eek:

Feb 11 2005, 06:33 PM
Who wants to be next to the guy that forgot to shave and is scratching his shwety balls all day? Try our hot shwety balls also available with nuttz :DThat skit just cracks me up.

Feb 11 2005, 07:03 PM
has anyone suggested therapy yet,i think bixby could benifit from some. i'll throw in the first buck

circle_2
Feb 11 2005, 07:09 PM
Are you passing the buck? :D

I'm guessing that Bixby is in some twisted trist with the Courtship of Eddie's Father... :o

Signed,

MRV Griffin :p

Feb 11 2005, 07:22 PM
Bixby- You are the undisputed master of the long-winded, confusing, enigma of a mystery of a post. Your jewels of insight into this game that we all love spew forth like the aromatic overflow of a sewage plant on a hot summer day. I anxiously await your subsequent literary input like my next root canal.
After painstakingly wading through your previous posts like so many piles of camel dung, I read this post and was struck like a forehand drive to the forehead that you actually got something right! Alas, I do not think that you know what that something is. Can anyone guess?
Bixby- my good man- You are fortunate to have someone of my stature to advise you in this situation. My interest in this field began when my poor niece Winnifred fell onto a porcupine and and had to remove her hair to facillitate the removal of the quills. She used the wrong type of depilatory and suffered afterward.
While spending my undergraduate years studying quilled mammals and then getting my Ph.d in porcupine sociology, I found out that many depilatories used in quill removal contain steroids which caused my poor cousin to have a lowered voice, grow chest hair and change her name to Fred.
In your case, the increased distance can be explained by the steroids used in your waxing.
Unfortunately, this means that you are cheating. Rule 124499.36.01a in the pdga rulebook prohibits steroids. This means the those two discs you won playing in the rec division (the epic and the optimizer) need to be returned. I assume that you learned this from The Great Harry, thereby explaining his prodigious distance.
This is a bad time to be associated with steroids, Bixby. In fact your use of steroids explains your lack of hair, your problem perspiration, and probably your allergy to feces.

Feb 11 2005, 07:28 PM
ROTFLMAO! I have a feeling the challenge of witz has just begun!

Feb 11 2005, 07:49 PM
he's funny :D

greenbeard
Feb 11 2005, 07:50 PM
THE GAME IS AFOOT!

Feb 11 2005, 07:53 PM
he's funny :D



he's really funny :D

esalazar
Feb 11 2005, 08:15 PM
For the record, 16 months ago I shaved my head bald the night before my biggest tournament of the year.

I experienced zero impact, positive or negative, on my distance off the tee, although the lack off insulation did allow my brain to stay cool in the winter weather.

This was no doubt the reason why I cashed.

I would recommend that anyone who is approaching what will be their biggest event of the year immediately buy some clippers and shave their heads completely.

The money or plastic you're certain to win as a result of this, will easily offset the cost of the clippers and be well worth the embarrassment.



lmfao!!

Moderator005
Feb 11 2005, 08:55 PM
Who wants to be next to the guy that forgot to shave and is scratching his shwety balls all day? Try our hot shwety balls also available with nuttz :DThat skit just cracks me up.



Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls. Go ahead, put one in your mouth.
http://as.wn.com/i/8d/a706bdf3cff9ac.jpg

Feb 11 2005, 10:10 PM
This just might get even better :)

Keep em coming Bixby! :D

LMAO!!

circle_2
Feb 11 2005, 10:16 PM
http://as.wn.com/i/8d/a706bdf3cff9ac.jpg


A very young Alec Baldwin?????

greenbeard
Feb 11 2005, 10:16 PM
I was wondering where I left my welcome mat

Feb 11 2005, 11:15 PM
http://lumumba.luc.ac.be/~mocon/brol/forumpics/supercool.jpg

greenbeard
Feb 11 2005, 11:20 PM
http://webpages.charter.net/cptgreenbeard/thisthreadrocks.jpg

Feb 11 2005, 11:58 PM
So now there is a contender for Bixby's thrown? All I can say is that competition always increases the level of the art. I think that Billy boy has a long way to approaching Bixby though. I mean Bixby has a whole gang of "friends" he regularly comments on and Bill only made a reference to his female cousin, Fred. /msgboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Feb 16 2005, 11:14 AM
Dude, Feldberg has got to be the king of body hair!!!! When he stayed at my house he was walking in the door, I thought it was a friggin YETI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /msgboard/images/graemlins/ooo.gif :eek: :p

Ya know I luv ya Berg' but ****!!!!!!!!! /msgboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif