Gimme a Lemonhead Cake w/Graham<FONT SIZE="-2">Nash</FONT>Cracker crust &amp; Annie Sprinkles on top and Vanilla Icing.

(got the "I'm a want" ref.BTW)

How do you make a cat go woof?


Douse it in gasaoline and toss it in a fireplace.

How to(no, can't say it)razor your kitty (http://www.gotlaughs.com/animals/gilette.shtml)
How to suds your kitty (http://www.gotlaughs.com/funpages/catwash.cfm)
Kitty Knickknacks (http://www.bonsaikitten.com/)

I leave for a couple of days and we've gone from fond memories of song and screen to animal cruelty??
Just purrfect.

All I did was a play on words with the band Bow Wow Wow. You know, the lead singer was that bald chick that photographed the Pope - Sinead O'Conner.

Okay, sorry...fond memories of Sinead ?
I just remember her getting kicked off of Hee Haw for cutting off Minnie Pearl's price tag to protest Capitalism.
That stunt didn't sit well with her mother,Susan Dey O'Conner.

Wasn't she the girl in Terminator fighting against Arnold's Army?

I miss her and that bald head. OK back to the Terminator thing. Yes Susan Dey O'Conner was in terminator. She was moonlighting outside of her stint on the people's court. And Terminator didn't star Arnold. It was Jean Claude Van <FONT COLOR="ff0000">����</FONT> I forgot his middle name. He bears a striking resemblence to Arnold. At the time of Terminators filming, Arnold was in Switzerland with his newlywed Pam Shriver, the famous Ping Pong player.

So, Susan Dey O'Conner had her character killed off in the sequel, T2-Judgement of Dred, so she could pursue her law career.She took the part in Terminator in hopes of regaining the fame from her Emmy/Grammy award winning days in the 70's.......
(some segue!)Here's a little trivia I "learned" last Friday.

Dukes of Stratus Fear/XTC's founder, Andy Partridge, (that's right kids)got his break in show business as Keith of "The Partridge Family". Here decadence and debauchery corrupted his frail, impressionable mind. XTC became a safe haven away from that sordid 70's scene.You can now find Andy doing theatre as the star of "Donny and His Technicolor Dream Syndicate".

His Partridge Family co-stars all had notable careers in their own right.
�Mrs. Partridge, Shirley Henderson, had a turbulent private life. She was married 3 times, to Tom Jones, Davey Jones, and Deacon Jones - which is where the expression "Jonesing" came from. A "Love Boat" regular, Shirley poked her eye out with a coke straw during an all-nighter with Bernie Kopell and Lauren Tewes. That was the beginning of the end. Talks fell through for a show with her and Fred "Gopher" Grandy called "The Grandy Bunch" (those roles were ultimately given to Aunt Esther and Grady). Other than a cameo in the movie "Shakes the Clown" and TV ads for Wheat Thins and corn oil, Shirley has been in and out of treatment to this day.
�Susan Dey, who was married to the late Carroll O'Conner, is now a Justice of the Supreme Court. She's currently being heavily courted by judge Clarence Clemons, who whispers lewd sweet nothings to her during hearings like, "ooo, baby, I wanna issue you my subpoena" and "c'mon, mama, disrobe and bang my big, black gavel".
�Jodie and Buffy, the youngest two of the family, had an affair. Both went into adult films: Jodie playing the lead in "Sigmund's C-Monster" and Buffy starring in "The Devil in Mrs. Beasley" and " Mrs. Beasley Does Sesame Street".
�Danny Bonaduchbag is still a loser, but now with less charm and talent.

When Schwarzenegger got off the boat from Canada (not too bright) he landed his first job as voice of Arnold the pig on Petticoat Junction and coined the catch phrase, "oinkyou,oinkhole".

I thought Danny was pretty good as Ralph on Happy Days. I thought it was pretty cool how Arnold and Chachi went on to fame as the team in Karate Kid. Hey! Didn't I see the Karate Kid Girl in a movie called Love and Sex today?

Whatever happened to the bad guy in Karate Kid, Joe Piscapo? I really like him in The Year of Johnny Living Dangerously with Batman star Val Kilmer.

Kinda ironic - 1st we we're talking about Billy Idol, then Sinead O'Conner and now Piscopo, and I flashback to the skit he did on SNL ripping into both of them as Dean Martin.Then Eddie Murphey would join in as Sammy Davis Jr.

Sammy Davis Jr. was best when he was Geraldine.

"Here come da judge.Here come da judge.Betta watch out cuz here come da judge."

Dan Rowan would always end"Laugh-In"with,"say goodnight,Dean." And Dean would say, "you beat your sweet Blimpy."

Remember Sergeant Schultz! Verry interesting.

Dean was great as Our Man Flint. He was deadly with his yo-yo.

Sergeant Schultz Baahaahahaha man that John Candy sure was a funny guy. I remember when he did that tv show with Rosanne Arquette.

Bruce Cockburn starred in the Canadian remake-"Flint's Kitchy Wall."

Candy was great in those Bert Reynolds' "Smokey and The Nitwits" movies.
Isn't Candy working with Belushi and Farley now on some long project ?
http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/sad.gif<FONT COLOR="0000ff"> <FONT SIZE="-2">that was cold</FONT> </FONT>

No. John Candy is the latest host of Family Feud.

And Bob Crane was the original host ? He was great in The Running Man.

What do tou get when you cross Forrest Gump with Mrs. Mike Tyson ?

And who doesn't like Eddie Van Halen, that misfit friend of Wally and the Beav.

Or Sammy Haggar, the inventor of those wonderful slacks.

Happy Hanksgiven.

Ahhh...Eddie doing the Roy Rogers hit, Pretty Woman.

Hagar didn't invent the slacks...he conjured them up.

Ahh...Pretty Woman, Julia Child looked great in that movie.

As did Rosie Greer.

Yeah, that Rosie Greer, he was a great shortstop for the Islanders.

His brother Richard was a great backstop for gerbils.

And their sister PAm was great in the remake of Shaft.

Speaking of football players, I thought Lawrence Olivier had a great cameo in that film, but he was better in Any Given Sunday.

Lawrence Olivier was pretty tough to eat those diamonds The Running Man.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Led Zeppelins' Jimmy Walker is a Dyn-O-Mite guitarist. And the lead singer Robert Wagner is so sexy. Too bad about his wife: Natalie Cole.

Led Zeps' Pope John Paul is a most righteous keyboardest. I like their gospel song, "And We're Buying a Stepstool to Heaven."

They did a great cover of the Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis song, "Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On". I think AC/DC did a similar one, "Whole Lotta Rosie O'Donnell".

When the Leaven Bakes.

I thought that Pope John Paul played with the Monkees.

No, the Monkees featured Mickey Rourke, Peter O'Toole, Davy Davies, and Joe Namath. They did that song from Shrek, 'Don't Stop Believin'.

I've always liked the "Sounds of Silence" by Garth Faruncle and Simple Simon

Simons wife, Carly, had a good album called Pancakes.

poor Jimi,the forgotten Monkee once again.....
Me and Stu like to boogie to Zeps gospel hit"Confirmation Hoedown"

Did you guys know Marilyn Manson's dad, Charlie, actually auditioned to be a Monkee?

I'm a Believer

Jimi was a Monkee? I thought he was the prankster who set Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor on fire in a publicity stunt for make 7UP yours.

Marilyn Manson? Isn't she the chick that married Babe Ruth?

Oh yeah, the Bambino was really good in that Disney movie. Too bad the hunters killed his mother.

Venison Anyone.

Oh deer.

Disney Deans Sausage.

I thought that the former LA Dodger, Richard Pryor, was set on fire while playing with first base.

Actually he was hit by a pitch From Disney Dean Suasage, so it was a free base.

Now I'm really confused. I thought "Free Base" was a rock anthem classic performed Lynnard Bernstein

I know the Berstein Bears won the Superbowl with Ed McMahon at quarterback.

Leonard Bernstein did TeeBird. Freebird was that movie about the killer whale.

Willy Wonka was the killer whale movie. Gene Simmons was the star.

The amazing thing about Gene Simmons career is how he evolved from a bloated, tongue flicking, whale hunter in Willy Wonka to become a beloved exercise guru, and the creator of the Dial a Date program.

Gene Simmons had a guitar player who played disc golf incredibly well. He could ace freely.

Kiss started off as a rockabilly band from Mobile Alabama. The original members were Mearle Dan Haggerty, Free Willy Nelson, Johnny's Outa Cash and Frank Williams. After very limited success on tour. They decided to try the face paint and spiked heel boots. This was a marketing disaster. The band split up. Free Willy wed Bo Derek and gave birth to twins who later went on to limited recording success. Johnny changed his last name to Rotten and went to England where he started a punk band The Sex Pistols. Frank Williams Died at an early age and the last anyone saw of Mearle Dan Haggerty, he was peddling fake Rolexes on a street corner in Truth or Consequences N.M.

Ah, Truth or Consequences, a wonderful musical variety show hosted by Ma Barker.

It's funny you should bring up Ma Barker. I was raised across the holler from Ma, and as a young boy attended her marriage to Pa Kettle. After the revenuers forced the Kettles to sell their farm, they moved to Mayberry and at the ages of 60 and 67, respectively, Ma and Pa kettle gave birth to a boy named Opie. Their untimely demise following the Mayberry Mushroom famine left poor Opie to be raised by his demented Aunt Bea. I'm not sure, but I heard Opie went on to become a Hollywood director, and had something to do with a show called the Beverley Ferngullies.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Ma and I used to throw a pre-patent MRV across the holler to each other, when she wasn't makin' moonshine. She had a wicked forehand. Are we back on thread now?

Almost...

Some say ol' Ma came up with dis dare game of disc one day after Thanksgivin'.

Legend has it that after turkey dinner, they all had some of Ma's famous Super Puppy Pump Kin Pie. And when they wuz done, ol' Ma started flingin' the tin at Pa cuz his snorin' wuz scarin' the chickens. She done hit em right in the head, yup. Took her three times, though. So now every try is a Pa 3.

I think she called her throw the Turkey Neck.

Ma's Pump Kin pie was good. Pa would Pump Kin and ma would give them her pie. People enjoyed it so much they would yell.

That why they call it Pump Kin Holler.

I've had her Pump Kin Pie.
I swear I tasted a little anise.

"Pump Kin Holler" was one of Billy Idol's many hits.
..."They cried,Ma, Ma, Ma-a-ahhhhhh !"
now we're back on thread.......

This thread now makes no sense to me. http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/happy.gif I have heard of Billy Idol. He was in "The Wedding Singer."

Stop Making Sense. It's the same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was...

Nope. It was Billy Madison in the Wedding Singer withdrew Barleymore.

Not surprising that Generation X kids don't remember Billy Idol from his solo days when he played with himself.

And his father, Eric...sorry, wrong thread.

Jed, Drew Barleymore was the girl from E.T.. A movie about a BMX riding midget with a flashlight surgically implanted into his finger.
Ma and Pa Kettle were a folk band from the 60's. Ma, also known as Mama Cass, died from eating fried peanut butter sandwiches. Her son Shawn Cassidy was a recording artist in his own right. He was a half brother of the members of the Bee Gees. They were pioneers of the early Rap scene.
Billy Idol was the lead singer of the Talking Heads. He was incarcerated for being a rebel arsonist. It was in prison that he met Rick James and became his little prison super freak even though he was just seventeen.
Hope this clears some things up for you.
And Ching, welcome back.

Welcome Back was John Travolta's first TV show, Saturday Night Fever, a disease that caused people to talk with fake Brooklyn accents.

Billy Idol lead singer for the Talking Heads eh???

What Planet/Dimension was this???

And/Or what the hell have you been smoking, I WANT SOME!!!!!

Of course, Im being too correct for this moronic thread.

Austin Majors, the Six Million Dollar Man, was held together with moronic thread.

...and a touch of silver lining. Lindsey Buckingham was the Bionic Woman held together by Golddust.

Drew Barleymore Must Die was my favorite Traffic album, with that great british keyboardist, Stevie Wonder.

...who later had the hit "Higher Dove" with Chocolat Khan.

Who was a distant relative of Gengis Khan...the coat guy.

Wasn't Gengis Khan in The Godfather? I thought he played Frollo?

Frollo is a Hobit. Good friends with Bilbo Baggins. They were in love with a ring but Gollum and the evil Lord crept up and snuck away with her. I guess Pink Floyd was into Tolkien.

If anyone really wants to know how to throw a MRV, send me an email and I will send you a video on how to throw the MRV!

not the ace video AGAIN..sheesh.. http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/happy.gif

Kevin McCoy! World Champion 1996.

Kevin . . . I thought it was his brother Kevin Hatfield?

Kevin are you still fighting the Hatfields? Now isn't one of the Hatfields with the Righteous Brothers?

Kevin,
Are you coming down to Norman this weekend?
Dannie

Actually Morgan was in the Wrighteous Brothers, along with Steven and Gary.

Gary Wright started out with Jimmie J.J. Walker in Toothy Spook.
<FONT SIZE="-2">sorry! That was a terrible, racist term-I hope I didn't offend anyone</FONT>

SeeWhere did my crabs come from?
You can use Seewhere in any sentence. I would like to seewhere Chris's mom found that Midget Carny to impregnate her? Man these are fun to do with your kids!

But Seriously CWare Don't Hate Me Cuz You Aint Me! (That's a Brad Schick quote, I thought I ought to recognize him just in case of copyright infringements)

I have the one and only perfect description, in video, on how to throw the MRV. It's hard being such a dominant, semi-fertile, hard core MeRV tossing machine! Or is that Salad Tossing machine?


And Danny why in the world would I be in Norman this weekend? Is there some gambling orrrr some action?

I'm completely ate up!

He is a one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater

Revolutionary War. Saturday; 3 rounds at Colonial. Steve King is running it.

I think I'll have to pass on that one. I'm more into the Civil War!

Eric Burdon did some of his best work with them.

Stephen King, now there's a great author of romance novels: Carrie, Christine, Cujo.

Actually, Cujo was the long lost member of The Whalers, that back up group for Bob Cratchet.

Now wasn't Eric Burdon married to somebody named Liz Baylor or something?

It's Liv Tyler and she was married to Richard Burton.

No, you're thinking of Don Baylor, ex California Angels first baseman. Or did he play bass for the Eagles? I forget.

One of my favorite Eagle members was Bill Walsh, the founder of the Jamestown Gangtacklers.

I thought Bill Walsh coached the Los Angeles Rams and started the West Coast Defense.

Right. He coached his son, Lamont, at Sanford.

Stephen "the bogeyman" King has a disc golf tournament each fall - he earned that name because his drives are always shanked in the shoul. He and his wife, Christine, bought a lot in Salem right next to an old pet cemetery. The 18 hole course is 5,280 feet long and is known as The Green Mile. The fairways are well-groomed now that he hired, Jordy Verrill, the lawnmower man.

Stephen King used to work the night shift, with a skeleton crew, at a bar called the Dead Zone. It was a time of misery and desperation in his life. His girlfriend, Carrie, was the girl who loved Tom Gordon. He was having terrible nightmares and dreamscapes due to insomnia. His doctors said it was due to the different seasons, but all Stephen knew was that it made him thinner- a bag of bones.
He had the shining eyes of the dragon and arose madder than a firestarter during the storm of the century. At four past midnight, the needful things within him started the cycle of the werewolf and nightmares in the sky. That is when the gunslinger, Dolores Claiborne, began the danse macabre, a creepshow if you will. Using the tommynockers she always carried, she sent Stephen to the wastelands of the dark tower.

http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/proud.gif 28 Stephen King titles in one post

That gunslinger started her career in the old 1960's TV western "The Real McCoys," a show about a family on the western frontier who aced every hole with their MRV's IN THE BASKET

Rick Derringer got his start with The McCoys. Grandpa Amos was played by Jonathan Winters, Grandma Andie was played by Shelly Winters, and Richard Crenna was Rambo McCoy. I hope Rick is still alive and well.

Don't shoot Rick! He's just the piano player.

Shoot Rick?? What for??
Oh Man!!!!
Hey Ching

Don't worry, Rick. You should be safe with all those cops around you at work.

Oh-Oh.
Gotta go!
John Ashcroft is knocking at my door.

I am reminded of a group of guys: Waters, Gilmour and Wright. That would be Muddy, Gary and Morgan.

Hey You, Mother! Welcome to the Machine, also known as The Division Bell. I overheard the Dogs Of War talking about Sheep, Pigs On The Wing and other Animals. I decided to Run Like Hell and put Another Brick In The Wall. Now, it was just Us &amp; Them, so I decided to Have A Cigar. I Wish You Were Here to visit with my Atom Heart Mother. During a Momentary Lapse Of Reason, I was feeling Comfortably Numb and suffered Brain Damage. I was Learning To Fly to the Dark Side Of The Moon, which was Obscured By Clouds. I said Goodbye Blue Sky when I saw the Eclipse. Time and Money ran out and On The Turning Away I said Goodbye Cruel World and remembered my Young Lust.

NICE! SUZETTE! http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/happy.gif

There's no way out of here. Once you've come in you're in for good.

It's part of the master plan Randy. Sooner or later we'll drag them all into the dreaded MRV zone. And then the reprogramming can begin. {insert sinister evil laugh here}

Hey Randy! You're a David Gilmore fan?!!!

Dang straight. I Can't Hold My Breathe Anymore is a great album!

I like Ricky Black more.

I like Blackie Law less.

I like Eddie better, less than Paul, but Donny the most.

Can't we get back on thread -- Blackie Lawless had nothing to do with Dire Straits!

(at some point, years from now someone else is going to back and see that Randy started this mess . . . just thought it needed to be said.)

Didn't he replace Joe Gibbs on The Bee Gees?
<FONT SIZE="-2"> <FONT COLOR="808080">luap si surlaw eht</FONT> </FONT>
(Jed started it ! He said he liked the rock on MTV.)

Blackie Lawless's sister Lucy Lawless, also known as Zena the flying nun, dated the lead singer of Dire Straits, J. Giles before adopting an alias and becoming a professional wrassler, Chyna.

And I'd have to agree with Ching on this one, Jed started it. ROC n Roll on MRV.

Didn't Chyna replace Martha Stewart as a VeeJay on MTV ?

I'm a big fan of Chyna. I loved the match when she forced Asia Carrerra into submission with a head scissors and leglock.

OK I could add to that last one but I fear we may get so far off track that this thread will never be the same again.
Baseball...baseball...baseball...baseball......

Okay......The Bad News Bares was Traci Lords first movie. Ironically, her father, Jon, played keyboards with Deep Purple.

Correction...he played the organ with Deep Purple.

Traci's movies were mostly busts, but her biggest hit was in the Roger Waters movie "Pink Side Of The Moon" co-starring Bette Midler as Divine and Bob Gelding, singer for the Jonestown Rats who is most famous for organizing the charity event Cool Aid.

Wasn't the Cool Aid guy also a co-star with Cary Grant in 'Arsenic and Old Lace'?

No. But the Cool Aid guy was also the Sta-Puff Marshmellow Man in Ghost Story.

I thought that "Cool Aid" was something that you picked up in San Francisco! http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/proud.gif

Cool Aid was that big concert to save the growers.

Cool Aid won Fear Factor last night.

Ponder this for a while....
"The problem with this country is that there's too many pigs and not enough bowling balls."

http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/proud.gif

Ford

Soooooooo................ What's your point?

too many police and not enough policemens balls

Ben Wah liked to play balls with his band Wahs, Not Wahs.

Ching the Magnet dragon lived by a sea
and passed out his musical facts in the land of the windy city
Ching the Magnet dragon......humm hummm

Peter, Paul and Barry. What a trio. Manilow has such a pretty voice.

OK Randy, am I still sposed to stay out of the way here too or can I have at it. LMFAO

...passed musical farts ?

Is that why they call it the windy city??

I never understood why.
Sure, Oprah's here and you wouldn't want to be downwind of her, but I always thought Boston should be called the windy city since they are the Beantown.

OK ching serious question. What part of Chicago are you from? The city or one of the burbs?
Was born there, down around Lansing and the Cal City area.

Barry and Paul Anka worked well together in the trio, but Peter Tosh seemed a little out of place. To his credit, he did write their disco hit,"Coca Cabannis."

Barry Anka's real birth name was Manenough and Barry is short for his real name Barely:

Barely Man Enough.

But his powerful music and strong manly voice make up for his shortcomings.

He kinda gave me the creeps in concert when he looked at me and sang, "...and I need you today ohh Randy."

Barely wrote the songs that make the whole world puke!!!

Urethra Franklin gets no R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Tommy Whinette got a D-I-V-O-R-C-E from Tim Conway.

Okay, Rick.......
I live in the city.
Remember the scene in the opening of Good Times ?
Right there, in a delux apartment in the sky right next to the Daleys - Tyne and John.
My father Al is mayor of Nike Town, my mother Peggy has a cooking show on PBS, and my sister Kelly is in college at DePauly Shore U. majoring in social work. Our neighbor is D'arcy of the Smashing Pump Kins and she has a Big Black poodle named Stedman.
I'm trying to become a professional magician, but all my tricks are cheap. Maybe I'll go into the ministry.

Chicago. Isn't that the town where Mark McGuire played basketball for DeSalle?

put your mrv down and throw a roc

What ever happened to The Osmond 5 ?
Not just Donny, but the other four - Tito, Duane, Gregg, and Ozzy Osmond.
Why did their father, Lee Harvey, leave them?
The youngest one, Haley Joel, was great in "The Shining."

As Haley Joel said in that great movie:
"I see stupid people. They're everywhere. Only they don't know they're stupid."

Haley is the nephew of Billy Joel, who married David Brinkley's daughter, Christie.

Is that the Billy Joel that jumped off the Tallahassee bridge?

Went to see Andy Garcia Playing in the Band with The Dead in New Minglewood. Plack Peter and I wanted to hear some Blues for Allah. The gig was on Shakedown Street, near the banks of the Big Muddy River. While at the show we met some Brown Eyed Women and started Dancing in the Streets. Later in the night we met up with Casey Jones and went Truckin' on down The Road to Unlimited Devotion. We wanted to see some Scarlet Begonias but there was a Fire on the Mountian where they grow. So instead we went to see Cosmic Charly who is a Friend of the Devil. He lives by Terrapin Station and while on the way we met up with Samson and Delilah and a Lady with a Fan. Once we got to Charlie's we took a boat ride. We thought there was supposed to be a lunar eclipse and we wanted to see the Dark Star. Instead, while we were riding on the Ripple created by The Wheel of the riverboat we saw the Mountains of the Moon. The Wheel broke down and Dupree said Row Jimmy Row. By the time we reached shore it was morning. On the way back home we ran into some kids that were getting ready for class. One student came up and said "hello" and I responded with "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl." I stopped to pick up Jack Straw, who lives in Franklin's Tower, and as we walked to breakfast the air was filled with the Bird Song. As we drank our coffee we discussed the news and talked about the US Blues we've had since the Sept. 11th tragedy.

Ford

Casey Jones? Of the Monkeys? He just formed a new band called Dogmouth so he could do a reissue of their old song from the 60's:

And then I saw her face
Now I can't believe her,
Such a waste,
No doubt in my mind
She's a dog,
Oooh she's a retriever
I couldn't skeeve her if I tried.

Thanks George.
Were the Beatles the greatest R&amp;R band ?
It doesn't matter.
Their gift to me and the world is immeasurable.
Their music will live forever.
Thanks George.

I think Andy Garcia was overrated. The real force behind the Grateful Dead was John Tesh.
I saw him jam last week with Yanni from Motorhead and my ears are still ringing.
The crowd was chanting, "TESH ! TESH ! TESH !"
It doesn't bother me a bit that he's married to Tommy Selleck of the Goo Goo Dolls.

Shetland Pony
Extra Pepperoni
Get a bite to eat

C'mon baby and eat the rich

Lenny rules!

Echoes of the Broadway Everglades,
With her mythical madonnas still walking in their shades:
Lenny Bruce, declares a truce and plays his other hand.
Marshall McLuhan, casual viewin', head buried in the sand.
Sirens on the rooftops wailing, but there's no ship sailing.
Groucho, with his movies trailing, stands alone with his punchline failing.
Klu Klux Klan serve hot soul food and the band plays 'In the Mood'
The cheerleader waves her cyanide wand, there's a smell of
peach blossom and bitter almonde.
Caryl Chessman sniffs the air and leads the parade, he know in a scent,
you can bottle all you made.
There's Howard Hughes in blue suede shoes, smiling at the majorettes
smoking Winston Cigarettes.
And as the song and dance begins, the children play at home
with needles; needles and pins.

We're all speechless in Seattle.

Good time for my story........

Once Upon a Time, Cary Grant -"Mr. Lucky"- lived a Holiday life of Riches and Romance.

His Amazing Adventure began with a trip to Gunga Din - The Last Outpost - To Catch a Thief, Archie Leach, on a Gambling Ship. The Amazing Quest, known as Operation Petticote, led him to a Pirate Party On Catalina Isle where into his heart would Enter Madam Sylvia Scarlett, known In Name Only as Madame Butterfly. He fell in love with this Notorious Woman Accused of poisoning lovers out of Pride and the Passion with Arsenic and Old Lace. She Done Him Wrong by leaving him in the night to join a USO troupe as an acrobat. Suddenly, Cary Was a Male Warbride and the pain from this Crisis was second to None But the Lonely Heart.

He toured Asia to drown his sorrows, but ended up meeting his Dream Wife in Singapore, Sue of the Woolworth family. The Bachelor &amp; the Bobby-Soxer became The Talk of the Town, The Toast of New York- you know how People Will Talk.

When the big night came, he charmed her with a romantic Penny Serenade and gave her That Touch of Mink. On his knees, he proposed, "Every Girl Should Be Married When You're in Love. Ladies Should Listen to their hearts Without Reservations. Will you be My Favorite Wife? The Easy Way is to Walk, Don't Run down the aisle just like Alice in Wonderland ."

Cary's Wedding Present to her was the Topper. He hired Mr. Blandings to Builds His Dream House, a Houseboat, North by Northwest of The Howards of Virginia, where The Grass is Greener. They married on a Thursday and he moved in with His Girl Friday. By next year they were Bringing Up Baby Jennifer and had to build a Room For One More.*

Then, Once Upon a Honeymoon on a Thirty-Day Princess cruise - Destination Tokyo - Suspicion came of Monkey Business when Cary had An Affair to Remember one Hot Saturday Night and Day with the Blonde Venus with Big Brown Eyes, Dyan Cannon - who was then The Bishop's Wife. The Awful Truth was that this Indiscreet romance was no Charade. He and Suzy did not Kiss and Make Up.

Their affair made the front page of The Philadelphia Story. In the article Cary declared, "I'm No Angel. I wasn't Born to be Bad. Only Angels Have Wings - other than The Eagle and the Hawk. If being Sinners in the Sun condemns us, then This is the Night we'll spread our Wings in the Dark and Merrily We Go to Hell to meet The Devil and the Deep. And if by chance you see any angels, Kiss Them For Me."

77 titles 5 real life references !
*

Uncle!

Ernie from Alberta ?
Or Charlie &amp; His Dog Teddy from Tupelo ?

Uncle Charley, who wore his toupee low.
Fred McDemerest was awesome in his role as a surrogate mother to his three sons- Spike, Bobbie, and Flip. I always thought that he'd end up marrying Jeannie, although I would have preferred Mary Ann.

I preferred Ginger who was married to Roy and there dog Trigger.

......Lenny DOES rule.
He was awesome as Squiggly on Laverne &amp; Squirrely.

Yeah...he was a pretty good wide receiver for the Kansas City Chiefs too.

I thought his best work was as the noisy neighbor on Webitched.

Bob Crane was my favorite Darren Stevens. Too bad he had to leave Bewitched because of his alleged affair with Werner Von Braun.

Darren's step-mother was a nymphomaniac.

Her son, Dudley, played Uncle Arthur.

Jeff Lynne made guest appearances as Admiral Paulsey.

Agnes Moorehead, Samantha and sis Selena. All hot.

Their neighbor, Gladys Knight - PHAT !

Larry Tate's wife, Sharon, was a sleazebag.
Because of her real life affair with all of the Beach Boys, the producers had her character written off the show.

But there was one Beach Boy you never saw, the "6th Beach Boy" Charles, who wrote her back on the show with red ink. He also was a ghost writer for the Beatles. Lots of people don't know it, but "Helter Skelter" and many other tunes were written with the same red ink pen by the great co writer for Lennin-McCarthy.

John Paul George Ringo and Charles

His son's band, The Mansons, kill.
The Boystown Boys, Boys Do Men and N'Spynctr all suk!

His daughter Marilyn was the son of Charles and his wife Alice Cooper who also was his husband. They also had a daughter David Bowie

Didn't Bowie marry that super-model, Imus ?

Iman the hermaphrodite, Cartman's mom?

Phil Cartmans Deep Thoughts.

I like the South Park episode when Kenny G gets killed by a giant softball and all the rats nest in his hair.

OK I've gone through about 250 of the last post and am wondering..Does anyone know how to throw a MTV??

Ching I'm back, need to get the rust out though.
Hi Randy....what Dave said....

He said,
One break...comin up!

Harpo was known as the "Quiet Marxist."

Now THAT was phunny!!!!!!

Groucho was a great Steely Dan album.

Zeppo started impersonating Groucho in the 60's with The Mothers of Invention and wrote the song "Light My Fire."

wudd'nt he the guy who was the first man to give birth. He named his first son Steve Vai(per), then came Drizzil, then Luna Unit????

Zeppos first son was Dale Bozio.

Did they ever find Dale ?

Groucho bet his life one day at the races.
He lost everything.
He went mad, dyed his hair green and lived the rest of his life in a trash can lined with duck feathers eating nothing but horseradish soup and animal crackers.

One night at the opera he tried to do some monkey business with his date when his coconuts made him love happy. She said horse feathers, we aren't at the circus. So they left and went shopping for duck soup at the big store one night in casablanca.

Chico started a garage band with Prince called Chico and the Band

Harpo got a sex/race change operation and became a fat black woman. Her name is his spelled backwards. Now you can't shut the B,itch up!!!

today's anagram:

Oprah Winfrey = Whiney Afro PR

She starred in Ralph Steadman's psychedelic movies, "The Purple Haze" and "Fat and Bloating in Las Bigass."

That reminds of the annoying song by Smashing Pumpkins:

Despite all my rage
I still look like
Nicholas Cage.

It wasn't Smashing Pumpkins, that's too kinky. Oh wait, maybe it was the Kinks, yeah it was Ray Davies...no, it was Sammy Davis... or...Sammy Hagar...who am I thinking of? ...Hagar the Horrible, or just anybody else that was horrible. Yeah, that's the ticket. Yeah, somebody horrible.

Yes, it was Burt Bacharach who sang Misty. He really wrote the tune during a moment while standing at a urinal:

Here I stand.
I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree.
I try and try and just can't seem to ���.
I have such a stiff ����
From thinking of that chick.
I'm misty, too much in love.

Yeah, that was the song. Whew!

I heard sammy hagar and lucy ball had a kid named carrotop, or was it uglylttlebastard...

I bet his parents are proud!

In the 4th grade, Chris Cornell beat up Sammy Hagar Jr. and stole his littleredmotorscooter.

Geddy Lee stole Robert Blake's red baretta, the one Juliana Hatfield gave him when he was just a baby.

All they found were Red Buttons on a Red Skelton after Red Adair drank Redrum.

...or was it...
Here I stand out on the tee
I'm as clueless as DGD
I try and I try and I try
I just can't figure out this MRV
Well it never flies straight
Or it hyzers out late
I'm mystified too much

Sammy Hagar Jr. wrote a memoir about rock groupies called, "Red Like Me."

Bill Cosby wrote "White Like Me."

Red Auerbach shared a case of Carling's Red Cap Ale with Johnny"Red"Kerr on a red-eye to see Otis Redding.

Wasn't Bill Cosby a super-hero in the movie,"I Fly" ?

No that was his brother Bing, in the fly movie, "Superwhite."

Cosby did that great bit about the Chicken Heart that was 400 feet tall.

Leeza Gibbons did that song about the little shack outside Red Grange. It was Simply Red until it was run over by the Big Red Machine. Geddy Lee was singing Red Alert...Red Alert. Afterwards the morning sun was shining like a Red Rubber Ball. Paul Simon wrote Red Rubber Ball and that's a fact.

Paul Simon never wrote anything. Sure, his songs say (Simon) on them, but his sister Carly wrote them.

Carly always said that Red Rubber Ball was her worst song. But I think her worst song was the one where she said I was vain. How would SHE know, and why is she writing songs about ME?

The warmovie Reds' historical redmark of having Redcoats wearing Redwing boots made the director Vanessa Redgrave redfaced while walking down the red carpet.

Sure, it's cool to play different genres of music, but Paul Simon and Teri Garr doing funk is awful.

"Here, then, are some of our favorite mistaken, mixed-up, and misheard lyrics.

Song: "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix
Original Lyric: "'Scuse me while I kiss the sky"
We Heard It As: "'Scuse me while I kiss Jasmine Guy"

Song: "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Original Lyric: "There's a bad moon on the rise"
We Heard It As: "Proud Mary keep on burning"

Song: "La Isla Bonita" by Madonna
Original Lyric: "Last night I dreamt of San Pedro"
We Heard It As: "I peaked with 'Material Girl' but I'm going to drag this career out for decades"

Song: "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper
Original Lyric: "Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow"
We Heard It As: Actually, we've never been able to make out any Cyndi Lauper lyrics.

Song: "Good Times Roll" by The Cars
Original Lyric: "Let them brush your rock and roll hair"
We Heard It As: "Let them brush your rock and roll hair" (Okay, we got this one right, but we were hoping we hadn't. I mean, please. "Rock and roll hair"?)"

by Lore Fitzgerald Sj�berg

I got this link from the "Good or Bad" thread below. I think you MRV'ers will appreciate his sense of humor.

http://www.brunching.com/contributors/fs.html

Best lyrics in the history of rock and roll. There is NOTHING else in rock music history that will ever compare with this. It's unbeatable.:

"Now I guess I have to tell 'em
That I got no cerebellum
All the girls are in love with me,
I'm a teenage lobotomy"

......."Rock and roll hair"?

Must've forgotten the rock oprea "Hair".
I prefer Ann Jillian's sassy, blonde bombshell Jesus.

Rock and roll hair is also known as the short and curlies.

Check this out:


ROTFL (http://www.brunching.com/cgi/drugslanger.cgi?url=http://www.innovadiscs.com/discs/index.html)

It will have you ROTFL for hours

I heard if you have a wienie arm like hyzermenprefermythongtosser is when you use a roll hair.

George Harrison felt rejuvinated after joining the cult of Ravi Schenker - who wrote "Can You Roll Hair?"

Ravi's brother Rudolph preferred Scoprpions for his distance drivers. His other brother Michael had to quit disc golf due to problems with the food additive MSG. He thought he was getting injected with MSG while being experimented with on a UFO. His wife Cheri, knew he had hit Rock Bottom and begged, Doctor Doctor Please!, with her Misty, Green and Blue eyes. The doctor said, Lights Out! and proclaimed her Too Hot To Handle.

I get it. Shanker. He he. Now who's Cheri?

Rudolphs twin brother Wilhelm starred as Kirk Skytrekker in the film Star Wars, co-starring Sir Alec Baldwin as the mad doctor O.B. Wan Kanolli who tortures Princess Leia's wookiee, played by Amy Fisher.

Cheri is a song off of the album O.B.Session

On the table top she dances
sit and smile into your beer
Turn around oh Cheri for me
Let me know you know I'm here

O.B.Session (you're good Ching!)

I get it. O.B. He he.

Now who's Michael?

John Revolta starred in the movie about the Australian glamrock band Angel. He's married to Lisa Marie Preston, Billy Preston's daughter.

Happy Chanukah !
Here are some jewish musicians and their works:

Bob Dylan wrote about Maggie's Kibbutz and Yidiot Wind
Jakob Dylan started the band, The Wailing Wallflowers
Courtney Love's Hole has Celebrity Schmegma
Richard Hell and the Goy Boys
Malcolm Mcclaren mohel of The Clipped Pistols
Keith Levene of Public Accountant Limited
Simon and Garfunkel penned the song Mrs. Rubenstein
Mick Jones of The Clash did Rock The Kibbutz and Sephardic Bombs
Barry Manilow changed his name from Manischewitz
Neil Diamond sang Song Sung Jew and Holly Holy Land
David Lee Roth sang Atomic Shmuck, Torah! Torah! Torah!, and Hot for Morah
The Beastie Boys had 2 good albums, Saul's Boutique and Check Your Yarmelke
Beck had the great album Oydevey!
3 members of the Woodstock protest band "Country Joel and the Gefilte Fish"
Spin Doctors (3 members) had the hit song "Pocket Full Of Dreidels"
Eric Bloom of Blue Oy-ster Cult had their classic album, Agents of 30% Fortune
Steve Perkins/Perry Farrell of Purim For Pyros started the alternative rock bake-off Challahpalooza
and our very own Mark Knopfler sang Schmendricks of Schtick

Other famous Jews of musical note:

Joey Ramone (born Jeff Hyman) invented his famous yell "Gabba Gabba Che" as a youth when he tried eating a live unplucked turkey at his Thanksgiving bar mitzveh. "Che! Che!" he would yell, over the turkey's loud protest, which began the now famous chant.

Wavy Gravy from Woodstock said "Forget the tickets, crash down all the gates. Look, here's two nice boys Ben and Jerry just coming from their bar mitzveh, how nice. We let them back stage and they will never forget us when they grow up, and I'll get my face on an album cover, or maybe just a lid of Cherry Garcia.

Marky Mark really thought he was "true ghetto" for the first 18 years of his life, but when it came time to make his first gang killing, he told the guy, "I could kill you now but maybe we can work out a deal."

Leiber and Stoller wrote "You aint' nothing but a Hound Dog, kvetching all the time" but Elvis improvised.

Carol King sang "I'm two months late, baby I'm two months late."

Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley of Kiss (born Gene Kline and Paul Eisen), uh, I really can't think of any Kiss songs. Did they really have any songs?

Haven't you ever heard the classic, "Bev".
or...I wanna rock and roll Yeminite!

Wasn't the drummer for Kiss, Peter Bris ?

Geddy Lee's early work Caress of Shlemiel and the songs Red Babushka and Passage To Haifa
Donald Fagen and Walter Brecker of Shpiely Dan recorded Bagel Logic and the Orthodox song Black Friday
Jim Steinman, producer and songwriter of Meatloaf's Bat Mitzvah Out of Hell
Joey Kramer,drummer for Aerosmith - Shlep Your Wings
Carole King wrote Smackwater *******
Lenny Kravitz had the recent hit remake, American Shikse
Robbie Krieger of The Doors wrote Light My Menorah

Benny Goodman was famous for "Schlepping at the Savoy" and "One O'Clock Schlep."

Sammy Davis Junior sang "The Candy Mensche"

Marvin Hamlisch wrote "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Moses"

Norman Greenbaum did "Spirit in the Sky"

Carly Simon wrote "You're so Verklempt"

The Bagels did "Walk Like an Egel HaZahav".

You don't understand the rules, the Bangles were all shikses. Oh, you said Bagels. Different band. Never mind.

Susanna Hoffs, lead singer of The Bangles is a Shvester. She sang about "Meshegas Monday".
Glen Phillips , vocalists for Toad the Wet Shvitzer
Nina Gordon and Louise Post of Veruca's Kosher Salt
Mark Rubin, bassist for The Bad Livers from Austin,Texas
Lenny Kaye,guitarist with Patti Smith, producer of Shul Asylum

Sammy Davis Jr. was Jewish??????http://pdga.com/discus/clipart/happy.gif

You never heard of the star of Davis ???

OOOOOOOOPS!!! Sorry, Jeff! Fellas, that last cornball post was not the clever pundit Jeff "PinComet" Ash. It was I, the Recovering BarFly. His dad-gum username &amp; password are clearly remembered by my computer. Anyone know how I can get it off of there?

Again!!!here I am.

Glitch ?

How could you forget Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys? With such classics as The Ballad of Charles Whitman and Ride 'em Jewboy....

Kinky once said, "Most people only think you can find a Texas Jew in National Geographic."

Chap

Good one.
Not forgotten.
I have Lasso from El Paso with guest appearances by Eric Clapton, Ron Wood, Rick Danko, Levon Helm, Richard Manuel, Ringo Starr, Rusty Young, Dr. John, T-Bone Burnett, Roger McGuinn, Mick Ronson,and Bob Dylan.

Danny Elfman of Oygo Veygo wrote the theme song for The Simpstiens
Peter Green founded Fatwood *******
Robbie Robertson of The Band was in The Last Shmaltz
Peter Wolf/Seth Justman/Magic Dick, all members of the Dire Straits tribute band, Jew Giels

Brad Wilk, drummer with Kvetch Against the Machine
Greg Hetson and Keith Morris of the Circle Jerks did World Up My Tuchis - just one of their Golden Shvitz of Hits

Mel Schacher and Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad created the first heavy metal band in history, mid-1960's. Other proto-metal bands at the time could have been considered mere aluminum or lithium by comparison. But these Jewish guys were tungsten and freaking uranium, they were even plutonium, by comparison. Even "Lead" Zepplin, the supposedly heavy metal band organized by some very non-Jewish English gentlemen a few years later, was still lightweight gum bubble sodium at that time period.

Did you know the term "heavy metal" was coined in 1967 in the song "Born To Be Meshuge" by a Jewish band called Schleppenwolfe? The lead singer in Schleppenwolfe was a Jewish guy named John Kay, (born Joachim Krauledat in Yiddisheland?)

Heavy metal thunder
Out on the highway
Matza balls and bagels
And whatever comes my way

<FONT SIZE="-1">more Jewish musicians.....</FONT>
Tony Levin, bassist for King Crimson had Lox in Aspic
Lou Reed started with The Butta Underground sang I'm Waiting for the Mamzer
Marty Balin, lead singer of the Jefferstein Airplane had a Surrealistic Kugel
Leslie West of Mountain Sinai sang Miss Yiddish Princess and Nantucket Shlepride
Keith Reid of Procol Golem did A Shmaltzy Dog*
Paul Kossoff of Free who did All Right Now-Could Be Better.

Thanks for the laughshttp://pdga.com/discus/clipart/happy.gif

The densest metal of all is osmium, something that Ozzie Osbourne could have taken advantage of.

Ozzmium!

(No, he wasn't Jewish)